“The Returned” recap (1.3): Day of the Dead

Over at Julie’s apartment, the annoying neighbor comes pounding on her door. She saw Nikki earlier, and she thinks the police are investigating Victor because Julie adopted him illegally. Julie goes from 0-60 just like that, calling her neighbor a crazy bitch and telling her to drop dead in a span of like 10 seconds. It’s pretty great, honestly, because fuck that neighbor.

Jack and Claire are trying to figure out what their next move should be. Jack thinks they should pack up the girls and move far away, Hawaii or something, while Claire wants them to try and make it work here. The don’t decide anything except that they kind of want to make out right now. The start to do that, but then Claire pulls away.

Deciding that she’s really into roleplay (or something) now, Camille goes back to the Dog Star as Alice, Lena’s cousin. She finds Ben and freaks him out with the “resemblance” to Camille. They go inside and Lena is like “Aw, hell no, bitch. GTFO.” Camille pouts and leaves, and then Lena storms away from Ben to the bathroom. Ben wants her to talk, but Lena is like, “OR we could have dirty bathroom sex!” Ben is game for this suggestion until he notices that giant, gaping wound on her back. What a boner killer.

Simon comes back to Rowan’s house, and, now that she knows he’s not a total figment of her imagination, they make out. Tenderly. While Creepy Tommy watches on livestream. You can’t hear me, but I’m doing the Tina moan (from Bob’s Burgers).

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Victor, meanwhile, has consumed almost every piece of food in Julie’s apartment. Instead of just ordering delivery, like a normal person, she decides the very best course of action is to leave the seven-year-old creepy boy alone in her apartment while she runs to the store. GET IT TOGETHER, JULIE. She tells him not to answer the door, but she does not tell him not to go to her neighbor’s apartment. So, that’s what he does, obviously. Not sure what his end game is on this one, maybe he’ll murder the neighbor? I’d be pretty down for that, actually.

Tune in to The Returned next week to find out! In the meantime, tell me your theories/analyses/etc. here in the comments or on twitter @jennalykes. (Mark your spoilers, plz!)

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