“Weird Loners” recap (1.2): The Proper Channels

This week on Weird Loners, the chemistry between Caryn and Stosh deepens, and Zara and Eric pal around. I know it’s only episode two, but Zara remains the most undeveloped of the bunch and is once again hanging out with Eric because she feels sorry for him. Fingers crossed she gets a storyline of her own!

We open with Eric watching Stosh while he sleeps. Eric is still used to waking his dad and helping him shower every morning, but Stosh is creeped out by his attentions. He does, however, allow Eric to sing to him while he showers, and the two guys duet on a Polish classic. I don’t really know if this is a classic, you guys, I don’t speak Polish. Polish readers, feel free let me know!

we1 Now That’s What I Call Polka 37!

Next door, Zara is chanting a Buddhist prayer in the living room and Cary tries to join in. It’s about as awkward as it sounds. Her chant-along is spoiled when she gets a phone call from her Nana, who is thrilled that Caryn is marrying a sensible doctor. Looks like someone didn’t get the message that the engagement is off. Caryn calls her mother (the amazing Susie Essman) who refuses to tell Nana the truth, so it’s up to Caryn to break the news.

we2Dear Lesbian Buddha, please give me a storyline where I touch a lady’s face with my face!

Stosh finds out that an angry, crossbow-wielding ex is at the door ready for vengeance. Facing the situation like an adult, he scrambles through the attic and drops into Caryn’s skylight wearing only his towel. He steals some of her Juicy Couture sweatpants and makes his escape.

we3I must be in Rosewood cuz it’s raining non-descript white guys!

Caryn decides to fly to Miami to break the news to Nana in person. In a panic, she rushes into Howard’s office and begs him to come with her and maintain the lie. Once Howard realizes she has no intention of actually marrying him, he kicks her out. Meanwhile, Zara takes pity on a lonely Eric, who misses his father. When he expresses a desire to talk to him one last time, Zara creates a séance and pretends that the ghost of Eric’s dad is speaking through her. You know, that old chestnut.

we4Sorry, Eric, but the TV Gods need me to sacrifice you to get a love interest sooo…

Eric buys it and before she knows it, Zara is off at the paint shop picking out colors for the laundry room as Eric’s father. Zara tries to escape the ruse by pretending that it’s “dead people Christmas”, my favorite joke of the episode. This leads to a father/son montage where they go to the playground, play catch, and hit up an all-male sauna.

we5When I said I wanted to get hot and sweaty, I should have been more specific.

Stosh tries to get an interview at a competing firm, but word of his reputation has already spread. No one respects his man-whoring ways, and his actions have rendered him un-hirable. He steals some mouthwash and storms out. He heads to Caryn’s place, where they both complain about their bad days.

we6Nice dick, bro

Cary shares a story about how Nana used to throw bagels at the kids who bullied her, and Stosh misinterprets their conversation as a moment to strike. Caryn is repulsed, as she is A) trying to have a conversation with him and B) has a mouthful of yogurt. She calls Stosh out for being a selfish womanizer who only cares about getting laid. Well, if it looks like a duck…

we7Can’t a girl get her Oikos on?!

Cary flies to Miami to visit her Nana, and is just about to break the news to her when Stosh shows up with flowers. He pretends to be Dr. Howard and proceeds to charm the crap out of grandma. He and Caryn even slow dance and the lights shift and they have a genuine romantic moment. It’s sappy, but the actors’ chemistry really sells the moment. Nana is delighted and tells Caryn not to fuck it up. Caryn goes to thank Stosh, but he’s already gone.

we8This nursing home has killer mood lighting

Back at Eric’s house, Zara has reached her faux-dead dad breaking point. She allows Eric to say goodbye and tells him (via dad) that he needs to create a life for himself. Unfortunately, even though “dad” is gone, Zara is still forced to stay and watch the second Mets game…truly a fate worse than death.

we9 I know this is gay hell because these jerseys are so ill-fitting

Back at home, Caryn thanks Stosh for bailing her out with Nana. Stosh feels pretty smug about his selfless move…until Eric busts him for using his dad’s credit card to finance the trip. Whomp Whomp.

What do you guys think of the show so far? Let me know @chelseaprocrast