Welcome back to your Lost Girl Rewind Mini-Caps. Like last year, we’ll be doing short, screencap-based recaps of the season to follow the U.S. broadcast of the series on Syfy. Starting next week we’ll also include tweets from you using the #faebians hashtag. Please be sure to refer back to the previously posted full recap of each episode for a more in-depth analysis of each week.
We start in the Grand Canyon or someplace else they sell turquoise jewelry on the roadside. Bo is still searching after that missing Hell Shoe. She steals it from a very large bird and then sucks some hillbilly dirtbag chi to get away after taking a tumble.
She goes to see Lauren, who has some fancy new doctor digs courtesy what appears to be the Morrigan, if the clinic’s name “Marquise Medical Center” is any indication. But instead of letting Lauren do science, Bo pops one of the Hell shoes on. Luckily she doesn’t turn into Wolverine. But she does pretend to be in to breath play.
Bo slips the other shoe on before Lauren can start her tests and poof—she’s in heaven. Fine, she’s in Valhalla and it looks more like a luxury resort than a puffy white cloud-like eternity. There she meets Freyja, the mother of Valkyries, who runs the joint.
Back on Earth, Bo’s new roomie Tamsin is busy slinging insults at Lauren. You two kids, never change. Tamsin gives Lauren her secret diary. From it we learn all the things about the Bifröst, which we actually already knew because of those Natalie Portman/Chris Hemsworth movies.
Bo finds Kenzi ordering primo room service and watching super watchable unreleased sequels in Valhalla, so it’s not so much terrible as the complete opposite. Why is Bo rescuing her again?
Tamsin shows up in Valhalla, too, because she heard about the unlimited Ben & Jerry’s (kidding). But then she almost gets in a fight/kissing match with Freyja because all the Valkyries are mad at her for scoring herself an extra life. Also there’s a mean Valkyrie named Stacey because of course there is. (Sorry, real-life Staceys. I’m sure you are very nice.)
Kenzi receives a mysterious envelope filled with an invitation to her own wedding with Hale. So now it has become a should I stay or should I go situation. Marry the person you love and live in luxurious heaven together forever? Or go back to Earth where Rand Paul is running for president. How is this even a choice?
But before she can say I do or don’t, Tam-Tam goes all The Manchurian Candidate and tries to kill her, and then Bo, with an axe. But Bo gives her a little love touch and then it’s time for a wedding. Except, not so fast because Freyja stops it. Or was it the man who keeps calling on the creepy blue phone? Anyway, Kenzi gets sent back to her body on Earth (which is, unfortunately, in a coffin) and Bo gets sent to someplace dark and burny (which is unfortunately probably where her dad lives).
Now it’s your turn. Caption this screencap in the comments. And don’t forget to tweet your thoughts on each episode using the #faebians hashtag each week.
READ THE FULL LOST GIRL 5.01 RECAP HERE.
More by Ms. Snarker: @dorothysnarker or dorothysurrenders.com.
