“The Returned” recap (1.10): End Times

Julie, meanwhile, has decided the only way to deal with Victor is to try to exorcise some demons, so she takes him to the house he died in. That’s pretty fucking metal, Julie- I dig it. Victor goes over to the closet he was murdered in, and we see a flash of his dead body. Julie gets real really fast, telling Victor that his mom isn’t coming back and that the fairy he believes Julie is doesn’t actually exist. She tells him that she tried to be his fairy, and she loves him, but she can’t do it.

Victor doesn’t want to hear that, so he does what he usually does when he is distressed- he creates a traumatic vision for the person who is upsetting him. In Julie’s case, it’s the man in the hoodie who attacked her years ago. Julie is able to fight the vision, telling Victor that he saved her life, but now he has to let her go. So… he does. Victor and the vision disappear.

photo8 That was… anticlimactic.

Back at the swimming hole, everyone except the twins are tripping balls while The Velvet Underground plays in the background. Camille is super pouty about not being high – drugs and alcohol don’t seem to affect the Returned. Hunter (I think) has a crazy look in his eye as he brings a knife over to talk to Camille. He tells her that she’s not high because she’s not human, she probably doesn’t even bleed. To illustrate his point, he cuts her arm with his knife. (What a Dawn Summers move, am I right?)

Camille freaks out and runs away, even though literally everyone else is on her side and worried about her arm. She apparently runs for a long time, because now it’s night. Finally, Ben finds her wandering around in the woods. She whines about not feeling normal and Ben tries to make her feel better, which she interprets as “Let’s make out.” Ben is still not 100% on board with dead person hook ups, so he pulls away. Camille sounds way younger than 16 when she argues that “he kissed her first in the eighth grade.” Yikes.

Camille wants to know why he hooked up with Lena and not her, and Ben’s like, “Uhh, I’m’a be honest: Your sister was DTF and you were not. So.” Camille’s like, “Well, Lena doesn’t love you, and now I’m ready to F!” They start making out. I’m extremely uncomfortable with this storyline. Lena is still looking for her sister, when she starts to “feel” them having sex. I’m even more uncomfortable. Lena also thinks she sees Adam in the woods, but I honestly don’t even know what’s real anymore.

Back at the hospital, Nikki is signing her discharge papers when Julie gets back from banishing Victor to the nether-realm (or wherever). She tells Nikki that it’s all over and then smooches her right there in the hospital. I know this show has a penchant for killing people, but, you guys, it looks like the lesbians survived (this finale, anyway)!

photo9

Oh, looks like Victor isn’t in the netherrealm—he’s just walking down a street. A nice lady pulls over, worried about him. She asks where his parents are, and, when he doesn’t answer, she invites him into her car. Oh lady, you’ve made a huge mistake. They leave town and let’s all hope that’s the last we’ll see of Victor. Sorry, lady, no takebacks.

At the Dog Star, Tommy and Rowan have their first married dance to a cover of “Wild World” by Cat Stevens. Weird. Jack and Lucy start dancing just as Claire walks in. She sees them and then turns around and leaves in a huff. Hey Claire, not sure you get to be mad about this considering you’ve been banging Peter for five years? As Jack watches Claire drive away the power goes out at the Dog Star.

Helen has made it to the dam! She gets into the “authorized area” really, really easily, and has just begun to set up the dynamite when the power goes out for her, too. Luckily, she has a flashlight. Phew, crisis averted.

At the jail, which still has electricity thanks to their handy power generator, Peter is visited by Cara Pine. She tells him that she’s a journalist who originally came to town looking for Camille, but heard that Peter might also be a dead person to interview. Peter’s like, “No comment, toots,” but Cara pushes the topic. She tells him that this isn’t the first time people have been reported as rising from the dead, but, in every other case, those towns were wiped off the face of the Earth and everyone who lived there died. I know I’m not supposed to be turned on by this convo, but, you know, what are you going to do?

photo10 Sorry not sorry about the million pics of Joanne Kelly.

Back in the woods, Camille is laying on the ground panting in post-coital bliss, but it turns out that she sexed Ben all the way to death. Damn. You are a monster, Camille. She calls out to Lena, hoping her sister can help her. Oh, now you’re not too good for your sister’s help?

Helen is still in the dam with her dynamite, and now she’s ready to light this bitch up. She’s, like, remarkably bad at lighting a match, though, and it takes her about 50 tries to strike one properly. Just when she does, there’s a gust of wind and her match goes out. Poor crazy Helen just can’t catch a break today.

Meanwhile at the Dog Star, Lucy starts hearing more voices when Rowan comes by to offer help lighting candles. She acts as a conduit, telling Rowan that “he’ll be here soon and you have to listen to him.” Rowan is like, “Uh, who now?” And Lucy tells her it’s the man whose baby she’s carrying. Oh snap. Simon’s her baby daddy, again. (Aside: we’ve now seen three different outcomes for Returned sex: dead guy, conception, and no side effects. I have no idea why! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Speaking of baby daddies, Simon is finally up and about after being smacked in the head by Helen. He’s still up on that cliff, though, and he has a bird’s eye view of the town… which is now being flooded by water from the dam (again!).

photo11Ruh roh!

Wait, JK! There’s a flash of light and, suddenly, the water is gone. Simon starts sprinting down to the town, I’m assuming he’s going to try and save Rowan or prevent the flood from happening in the first place. The end. Seriously—that’s how it ends. Talk about a cliffhanger, huh?

What did you guys think of this season of The Returned? Here’s hoping it gets picked up for Season 2. I think Cara Pine needs to stick around and do some serious investigating. In the meantime, you can find me on twitter @jennalykes and we can talk about The Returned’s religious overtones or how bad the last season of Warehouse 13 was.