The Rich Man’s Daughter is the dramatic coming out story of Jade, a beautiful, rich girl living in the Philippines-with lots of sad music, soft crying and almost kissing.
Episode One
We learn the story of how Jade’s family came to be so very wealthy, unhappy and rigid. Her grandfather is a Chinese immigrant who moved to the Philippines, married her grandmother (Ama) and started a family business, which grew to be so successful that now they are rich! They have a white couch, a pool, drink iced tea out of wine glasses and wear blazers even when they are at home.
Jade’s dad (dada), Oscar, is now the CEO of the business, even though he had a falling out with his parents at a young age when he refused an arranged marriage. Instead of his parents’ choice, Oscar married Jade’s mom, Amanda, a woman who wanted to be a famous actress. Show biz was hard, so she had turned to partying.
One of her best acting scenes is this one, where she slaps someone and says, “You’re nothing but a talentless, tasteless pussycat.”
When Oscar’s parents meet Amanda, they are not impressed. They kick them both out of the family.
For years, Amanda tries to win them back, desperate to at least have the family fortune if she can’t have the fame of being an actress. Then she realizes that because they never had a daughter, and Oscar’s parents are dying to have a granddaughter. She tries and, by her third child, finally has Jade. The grandparents are so happy to have a girl that they let Oscar, Amanda and all three kids back into their rich embrace. We get it Jade-you are a really big deal.
Episode 2
Jump to 24 years later. The eldest son, Gabriel, is getting married to a girl named Pearl and Jade is coming home for the wedding. Everyone makes a big deal about how beautiful Jade is. Paul, her second brother, is very cold. She tries to apologize and we find out slowly that Paul is gay and Jade outed him years ago after finding him kissing a guy. He will never forgive her. Because of Jade, Paul has been exiled from the family business and just lazes around the house. Hey, sounds pretty good to me. They still feed him and let them stay in their mansion with a pool-plus he doesn’t have to work.
Jade is so special that even though Ama (her grandma) has Altzheimer’s and cannot remember anyone, she does remember Jade. In fact, for the rest of the show, her Altzheimer’s seems to turn off whenever Jade is around. It’s very convenient.
At the church where the wedding is taking place, we meet Althea, Gabriel’s super hot wedding planner. All of the guys in the family’s jaws drop. Jade’s creepy uncle hits on Althea, asking her to marry him, but she only says, “Yes, I wish women like me could get married, too.” Everyone is like, WHAT? Women like you? What could you possibly mean?
During the wedding, Jade locks eyes with Althea and they stare at each other for the length of an entire song. What could this possibly mean?
At the wedding reception, Jade asks her friend if she’s ever seen into another person’s soul, because she just did. Her friend tells her that the person must have been her soulmate, but Jade says, no, it can’t be-it was a girl. Her friend says, “Gross, what are you doing looking at girls anyway?” Could it be that a….lesbian….romance is brewing?
In the bathroom, Jade drops her lipstick cap and it rolls under a stall. Althea laughs at her and helps her get it back. They giggle like little kids and stare at each other again for the length of another entire song.
Episode 3
Jade goes to the club with Althea, where they bump into Althea’s ex, Wila, who is apparently a real jerk but still kind of Althea’s friend? We flashback to when Jade outed Paul, though we still apparently don’t know what connection that has to this moment, because Jade still doesn’t get that she’s gay. Althea and Jade continue their first date at the hospital, where Althea sings to her sick dad, which is a pretty slick way to get Jade to sob uncontrollably slash fall in love with her. Later, they get ice cream, but Jade has to go see a movie with her boring boyfriend, David. During the movie, Jade is bored.
When she climbs into bed with her parents later that night, she tells them David is boring. Her dad says she better stay with him, he’s good for the family, and then they all go to bed like it’s not weird that she’s sleeping there.
Later on, Althea and Jade go to a movie, and it’s WAY more fun than it was with David. They throw popcorn at each other and giggle like schoolgirls again. It almost feels like something sexy is about to happen! No, it actually doesn’t at all, but you can tell the TV show wants you to think that girls throwing popcorn at each other is sexy. Meanwhile, Althea’s ex, Wila, goes looking for her at THIS cutie’s house. HELLO! Who are YOU?!!!?!?! I was too distracted by how cute she is to catch her character’s name or purpose. Damn. This girl is so hot. This show is starting to heat up.
Jade asks Althea, “So, I heard you are a lesbian. Am I your type?” Althea says no and Jade gets upset. But still, JADE CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHY??!?!?! Why is she so upset!? GAY GAY GAY.
The next morning, Jade gets flowers from David and she’s totally not interested. Luckily, she has also received a puppy from Althea. The maid helps us out by saying “hmm, you snub the flowers. At least the dog got attention.” Jade stares into the distance. What could this MEAN!?
Remember how Jade told her dad that she was bored with her boyfriend David while sleeping in bed next to him? Well, that was a bad idea. Because her dad took David out for golf and tells him, “You need to spice it up with my daughter.” It’s not awkward!
Jade goes to see Althea and gives her a bracelet to thank her for the dog. They giggle and stuff. Then, out of nowhere, they get caught in a rainstorm of confetti! Where is it coming from? I don’t know! This part lasts about an hour. They stand in the falling confetti, laughing and looking at each other while the theme song, which is something about being in love with you ever since I laid eyes on your eyes, plays over and over and over, and the confetti never stops falling. This makes me wonder-do people really think of lesbians like this? Like, I was aware of the pillow fight fantasy, but I had no idea they fantasized about us throwing buttery popcorn at each other or standing under a confetti rainstorm in the lobby of an office building in a moment that looks like some kind of weird stock photo for “office party.”
Later Althea and Jade text “I miss you to each other,” and I was fascinated because their text messages look like a fun game!
They talk all night on the phone, but Jade still isn’t gay, okay?
Episode 4
Okay, so remember how Jade’s dad told her boyfriend David to spice things up? Well, he decides to propose to her! On posterboard. It’s pretty fascinating. He hands her the poster, she opens it, it says “will you marry me,” and then he immediately pops up behind it with a ring. Jade is not too excited, and looks like she is going to cry after putting the ring on.
She basically tells him, “You’re the only guy in my life,” hint hint wink wink (he does not get this hint) and, “Lets make our families happy.”
Later, Jade goes to sleep with Ama in her bed, because apparently she can’t sleep alone. Ama sits up crying because she never married her true love. Jade cries and says, “Samesies,” but she can’t tell her what is really going on, of course, because you don’t tell your grandma you’re a lesbian unless you really have to.
David asks Althea, the only party planner in town I guess, to throw their engagement party, but she declines. (WHY!?) When Jade asks her why, Althea says, “I can’t throw an engagement party for the person I love the most.” They cry and stare at each other for a full song.
Episode 5
Jade finally tells Althea, “I love you too” at Althea’s father’s wake. Jade has skipped out on her own engagement party to attend.
After saying “I love you,” she runs away from the wake, saying she will be in huge trouble, and goes to a rooftop somewhere. Althea follows her. On the roof, Jade says, “I’m scared to love you, but I do!” about a million times in a million different ways. Althea just looks at her, and I’m pretty sure she is thinking, “man, you are pretty but you’re dumb.” They both cry softly for many, many songs! The same song, but on repeat. They stare. Then they put their noses together. THEY DO NOT KISS. WTF!? They just finally realized they are both gay and DESPERATELY in love and all they can do is put their noses together? Oh god, I do not want to be there when they finally have sex. It will probably just be the two of them holding hands and instantly sighing softly and being like, “Ahhh, we came.”
Episode 6
JADE IS IN BIG TROUBLE. She ruined her family. They had to stand in front of the whole engagement party and announce their daughter is MIA. They are so mad! David’s father slaps Jade’s father in the face! It’s very bad!
We flash back to when Jade was a kid and stole a doll and made her family lose face. Her grandfather was so mad and he made her kneel and apologize and said stuff about how they are Chinese.
When Jade finally comes home from rubbing noses with Althea, her dad says “I don’t care if you hate David. You will marry him or we will disown you.” Jade says, “I don’t love him,” about one billion times, but her dad says, we don’t care, BYE!
Episode 7
The family is in complete meltdown mode because of Jade, and she hasn’t even told them she is gay yet! This is so intense. They hate her and are so disappointed in her and they don’t even know that she is a lesbian! They are going to freak! Earlier, when they heard that Althea was gay, they were like, “Ew!” And when they found out about Paul, they slapped him! I have no idea what they are going to do when they hear about Jade, but it is not going to be pretty.
Jade’s siblings try to comfort her, except for Paul, who is pretty mean. He’s like, “Karma’s a bitch, huh?” and then tells her that if they kick her out, she will never see her precious Ama again.
Jade tries to sleep with her parents that night but her dad says no, not until she decides to marry David. Jade cries, and her Ama cries with her.
The next day, Jade tells David that she will marry him. Yikes.
We will be recapping The Rich Man’s Daughter on a bi-weekly basis. You can find the show with English translation, here.
