“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (6.01): The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly New Guy

See Jane run. See Jane run after emo John Cusack. See Jane run into a car. See Jane run into the subway. See Jane stop running when she hears a gunshot. Wow, Season 6, way to run right into the action.

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Speaking of running, we now take a jog backwards a day. Jane is, naturally, in Maura’s kitchen. When last we saw Det. Jane Rizzoli and Dr. Maura Isles they were cooing over the college prospects of their adopted daughter, Tasha, and deciding to focus on each other. I’m not even making most of that up.

Jane is trying to convince Maura–who has new bangs that we should probably talk about–that someone named “Kent Drake” is not an appropriate beard/assistant medical examiner. So I see they’ve taken to having the beards apply for the position now. Smart–always check their resumes. Also, the good news is even if he does land the job it is only a “6-month rotation” so the grand tradition of short-lived faux male love interests on Rizzoli & Isles should remain intact.

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Mama Rizzoli interrupts by lugging in a big, ugly, free chair she has scrounged off a relative. But don’t worry, she knows better than to bring such horrendous furniture for her fashionable daughter-in-law; it’s for Frankie. But the ladies don’t have time for interior decorating, instead they do their signature synchronized “Rizzoli” and “Isles” phone greetings and it’s off to another case we go. This one is also, unfortunately, about a discarded item–a dead girl wrapped in a rug and thrown in a dumpster.

So, naturally, the whole team makes jokes about the kinds of suspects who would stand out in that area–like centaurs and pirates and organ grinders. Admit it, the ridiculous gallows humor is part of the reason you love this show.

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Back at the lab, Kent Drake is studiously vacuuming the dead girl’s rug. That’s so wrong and I wasn’t even trying for gallows humor. He is so studiously working that he barely pauses to acknowledge the presence of Maura or Jane. Though, one look at him and we know that 1) He is not a superhero, and 2) He should not be Maura’s next beard.

No offense, but unless he takes off those glasses and becomes Lynda Carter there’s no way they’re hooking Maura up with someone that dweebie/obnoxious/fashion backwards. I mean, his shirt alone is a crime scene but then you add in those toe shoes. To quote Det. Jane Rizzoli, “Nope.”

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One piece of evidence he collected actually did pan out, a T-shirt from someplace called “Internet Village” where the dead girl worked. Aw, that’s kind of what I consider us all, an Internet Village. It takes a village to ship Rizzoli & Isles. Sorry, I could not resist.

The dead girl used to work at Internet Village but left to spend more time with her boyfriend, Spike. Does he have a British accent and an aversion to the sun? Nah, he has a green streak in his hair and looks like an emo John Cusack. Also, we already know he is a good runner.

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But the case can wait because Mama R enlists Jane and Maura to drag the ugly free chair to Frankie’s place. They oblige–with a standard amount of grousing–only to be surprised at little Rizzoli’s nice new apartment. He had been keeping his new digs a secret from his sister and her girlfriend. But the secret’s out, and so are his clothes.