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“Big Brother” recap (17.4-17.5): Week One

Now that all the Big Brother houseguests are all settled in, it appears the game is on. Some may argue there are players playing this game a little hard, too fast-but our girl Vanessa is keeping things balanced while a few other power players kick it into high gear. What we know is that the house wants Jace out. It’s nothing personal dude-or is it? (It is.) James keeps saying Meg looks like Taylor Swift, but so far all Meg has done is float, much less shake. Audrey is playing puppet-y like games up in the HOH room, telling James that a bold, out-of-left-field move would be to get Jason out (the former HOH). There’s some hope here that Audrey is just telling Jace what he wants to hear-it’s hard to tell a houseguest that they’re about to be evicted and the whole house knows it.

Power of Veto: WEDNESDAY

Suddenly things get really weird with Da’Vonne. She explains to the cameras that she’s walking through the house memorizing how many cars are painted on the wallpaper, or how many steps are on the staircase-that’s because this game can suddenly require your memory skills to get you through a mental competition. Anyway, she walks into some room and bro dude Jeff flexes at her and asks her why she’s being creepy and walking in there. Clay makes a weird comment under his breath imagining she can’t hear him, something about “hair gel” and “ask her why she’s going in there.” All in all, everyone is acting hella paranoid.

Da’Vonne confronts the situation head-on, but the boys aren’t having it. Instead of explaining why they were being weird, Jeff and Clay take turns making Da’Vonne feel like a delusional crazy lady. Da’Vonne tries to express that it’s a shared house and that they’re all houseguests who can roam about as they please-and the boys proceed to give her what they admit are just “damage control” apologies. Da’Vonne talks to Audrey about what happened and moments later, Clay comes back with a more genuine apology that Da’Vonne still feels is fake. Why? Because she knows how this game works: She just confided in Audrey, and Audrey just ran downstairs to tell Clay he needed to apologize harder. The boys can call her a “loose cannon” but this poker pro is on fire. She knows Audrey and Clay are trying to play her, and she’s prepared to watch her back now.

Audrey schemes in the BB house.

In the Power of Veto competition, Steve wins the “Nose Picking” battle by a landslide-well, a booger slide-and when Steve takes himself off the block at the Veto Meeting, James replaces him with Jace, who now goes up on the block next to Jackie. Jace is totally shocked, so he cries around for a bit until Austin tells him to get his shit together, then he marches up to the HOH room to feel out a hopeful alliance, talks about clouds, and otherwise acts brand-spanking crazy. By the end of the night, Audrey is pulling people out of their beds and bringing them up one-by-one to the HOH room where she wants to discuss the inner-workings of a massive, bombastic, secretive alliance. That’ll be a little hard to do when most of your party is near-passed out on the sofas, the sun is coming up, and James, technical HOH just wants his room back. All of a sudden, I’m worried for Audrey because she’s supposed to be laying low with Austin, and now she’s forming a mega alliance that can’t succeed. And, she just might’ve put a target on her back.

Live Eviction: THURSDAY

Audrey claims she had nothing to do with the plan to get Jace out, but Jace isn’t buying it, and this is where we begin our exciting, live Thursday night eviction-the first of the summer! Live eviction nights are full of possibility.

But first we need to see what happened while we were away for a few days. It appears Audrey and Jace finally have it out while Jace is in the midst of campaigning (hard) to see if people will allow him to stay. Some of his rationale is legit, and he sounds like he’s heard how to play this game a time or two (“I’ll take you all the way,” “Your weaknesses are my strengths, and my strengths are your weaknesses,”) then there’s the bad ones, like why Jackie should be voted out: “All Jackie will bring are her boobs.”

And beyond his Michael Bolton love festing, Audrey is the fierce fox in the corner peeking out from behind her black-rimmed glasses with a few words to say to Jace that she just can’t resist. “The whole house knew about it, Jace,” she says to him smugly. Jace doesn’t buy it for a second, and proceeds to tell Audrey he’s going to make sure everyone knows what a liar she is. It’s hard to figure out if Audrey is playing dirty or if her people get that she had to say and do what she did: Jace says she wanted to evict Jason (which she did, up in the HOH room on Wednesday night when she told James that a big, bold power play would be to get former HOH Jason out…) Audrey vehemently denies this accusation and it blows the lid of Jace’s cool thrown. She says her conscious is clear, and he tells her he just gave her a legendary comeback because he knows she’s messing with people’s heads.

So, maybe she is? That’s why she needs to team up with Vanessa (maybe she already has) to solidify this girl squad. On that night’s live eviction, Kathy Griffin is in the house and she’s prepared a special surprise for our houseguests. When host Julie Chen asks Kathy who she’s rooting for, Kathy proudly states she’s for Audrey, Da’Vonne and Vanessa! Kathy’s kind of a BB superfan. These guestimates are like gold.

So now it’s time to vote. As each houseguest goes in, we also learn that twins Liz and Julia will make switch, live, and that they already have four times in the house (they only have 10-15 minutes to exchange info and hope that none of the BBers guess they’re twinning.) (That did not go well for Steve Sanders in Season 2 of Beverly Hills, 90210, just saying!)

Deep lez moments with Vanessa

Vanessa casts her vote for Jace, kissing her ring while she sits in the live booth-perhaps a quick hello to her girlfriend back home? Me thinks so. Everyone else follows suit and votes for Jace-except for Audrey! Sneaky, sneaky. Theorists gather round: Why did Audrey do this? One has to imagine it’s because she wants to stir the pot a little more and create suspicion and judgment, causing everyone to wonder who voted him to stay in? Or was it just like Jace imagined, because she wanted to show him-no harm, no foul? Nah, this is Big Brother. Girl’s got a trick up her sleeve.

Kathy Griffin says a telephone will appear at some point in the week at the house as part of the BB Takeover and that after the seventh houseguest answers, they’ll be rewarded the prize of being able to select three houseguests not able to vote in the next eviction. Ring, ring, bitches. 1-800-ZING. Last but not least is a fresh HOH competition where Vanessa kicks ass but Becky moves those puzzle pieces faster and wins the first round. In the second round, Shelli leaves everyone trailing behind in the dust.

So now it’s Shelli and Becky leading up the BB house! Tune in on Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursdays for new episodes of Big Brother, followed by my recaps every Friday.

Follow me on Twitter @the_hoff! Are you #TeamVanessa #TeamAudrey?

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