“Orange is the New Black” recap (3.13): Trust No Bitch

Oranginas, it’s the finale recap of Season 3 of Orange is the new Black! Are you excited? I’m excited. Let’s do the damn thing.

We pick up right where we left off, in the middle of movie night. Tucky and Big Boo return from their attempted rape, and realize that they can’t be rapists because they still have some goodness left in them. Yay?

or1Look, until I see a body, Delphine is still alive!

Poussey runs in and drags Taystee and Suzanne to help her resuscitate Soso. They find the pills on her and decide to care for her themselves, otherwise she’d be sent to psych. They scoop up Soso and carry her out of the library, Weekend at Bernie’s style. FLASHBACK! Like the Mother’s Day episode, the flashbacks here are taken from several different inmates, as opposed to profiling one. Here we see little Soso practicing the piano while her mom yells at her. Mama Soso tells her that achievement is everything, and nothing else matters.

or2But moooooom, “Heart and Soul” is so cliché!

Healy comes home, all proud of himself for “helping” Soso. His wife is in no mood to share his good day, and tells him she wants her freedom. He agrees to rent an apartment for her and her mother, saying he’s sick of being surrounded by women in captivity. Aw, and I thought those two crazy kids were gonna make it.

Poussey and her crew drag Soso into the showers and try to make her puke. Poussey ends up having to stick her fingers down Soso’s throat, and gets puked on. Despite throwing up, Soso is still whacked out, and Taystee tells them they have to keep her awake by any means necessary.

or3NOT the kind of fingering I had in mind

Danny and Caputo are psyching themselves up for a meeting with Danny’s dad. Caputo wants to free Sophia from SHU, and encourages Danny to stand up for himself and be a man. Good luck with that one, Caputo. Back at Litchfield, Norma’s followers have dispersed, but Leanne remains faithful. She tells Norma to conjure up another miracle to bring back her flock. It’s gonna take A LOT of eggs.

or4What if Norma was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on a bus?