“The Fosters” recap (3.8): The Slap

Previously on The Fosters, Brandon whined about getting back into Idylwild because Pianist Tony stole his idea about playing his piano piece on a couple of old washtubs and a jaw harp. AJ got shuffled off to live with Rita because he and Callie can’t keep from kissing. Mariana wanted to get baptised so she could be Isabella’s godmother until she realized the Catholic Church is kind of bullshit when it comes to her moms. Jude had a hall pass and was absent (again). Callie might not get adopted (again) because the moms one time had to get a restraining order against Brandon (the golden boy).

Callie is helping Rita get ready for her night out at the Suds Bucket. Rita is terrified but Callie feeds her some of Rita’s own advice and send her out into the big scary world of dating. No word on whether Marla will be singin’ to Nelson tonight.

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Back in the dream kitchen, the rest of the family is chatting about Brandon’s interview with the social worker. He needs to tell the truth, which may be difficult since the moms apparently don’t know the true depths of his idiocy. Mariana wants to know if she and Callie will ever get their money back for the car and Brandon has the nerve to say he thinks they got what they deserve. It’s like they want me to hate him more every week.

Back at Rita’s, there’s a knock and Callie finds a woman on the front steps claiming she is Rita’s daughter. Street smart girl that she is, Callie invites her in. Chloe helps herself to Rita’s mail and bathroom while making snide remarks about her mom.

Fosters 3082 Brallie? Are you off your meds?

Rita comes home from her bust of a date and argues with Chloe, who wants more money. Rita refuses to give her money for an ill-conceived scheme and Chloe tells Rita she is a terrible mother. Rita asks if Chloe is off her meds. Heartwarming scene, really.

Stef thinks Lena is blaming her for the mess with Callie. She doesn’t get that Lena just wants Callie back and isn’t pissed that Stef got the restraining order in the first place. Stef has always been a hundred times harder on herself than Lena is. Lena asks about scheduling their next therapy appointment but Stef says she can’t concentrate on it while she is worried about kids. God, Stef, your wife is telling you what she needs and you need to start listening or she is going to find someone who will.

Fosters 3083 I just can’t believe Emily is going to prom with Showers Harvey.

AJ wants to know what Brandon’s problem is with him. Brandon snarls and gnashes his teeth and AJ stalks off. Mariana tells Brandon to stop being a jackass and work on getting his story straight for the social worker. He better not fuck up because Mariana wants her sister back.

Rita doesn’t think Chloe took anything until Callie says she rifled through the mail and Rita finds her checkbook missing a check. Rita tells Callie not to worry about it; she’s cancelled checks before. Chloe is bipolar and when she’s not taking her meds, she is more paranoid and irrational than otherwise.

Brandon wants to know when, exactly, is AJ leaving. Could it be yesterday? Stef tells him to chill out—he has lived a privileged existence and needs to give AJ a break. Stef is spending all her free time trying to catch the guy who plowed into the Volvo. Brandon suggests that maybe the guy didn’t run after the accident, maybe he hid until he got picked up. Stef beams with pride and suggests maybe Brandon should be a cop. Even Brandon knows that’s a stupid idea and scampers off to his room.

Fosters 3084 Ezria? Who has been reading Ezria fanfic on my computer!