“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (6.08): The one about the lesbians who wouldn’t U-Haul

Previously on Rizzoli & Isles: Maura tries to call Jane’s cohabitation bluff by buying her a new couch. It doesn’t work so Maura burns down Jane’s apartment instead.

Jane walks into Maura’s place without knocking, naturally. Why would she knock? She lives there officially now, right? Wait, right? Wait, she isn’t living there? Well then why the hell did they burn down her apartment in the first place?

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Actually, Jane had been staying in Maura’s “guest room” for four days. But then she got too paranoid about people figuring out their true relationship. So she fled to a hotel with a terrible mattress. Maura can only smile and sigh at her. The things we endure for love.

Jane pretends she is fine. She bought a new shirt and everything. But Maura wants her to process her loss. Jane says all she lost was 20 identical T-shirts. She knows she just described pretty much every lesbian’s wardrobe, right? Maura offers to let her wear her stuff, but Jane it apparently too dense to understand that half the joy in dating a woman in the automatic doubling of your clothing options.

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While Jane is avoiding the lifetime of memories that went up in smoke (due to faulty wiring/a girlfriend who is sick of pretending they don’t live together), Maura is avoiding her cell. It keeps buzzing, but she keeps letting it buzz. Jane, being a good detective and nosey girlfriend, looks to see who is blowing up Maura’s phone.

It’s A.I.–no, not that creepy Haley Joel Osment robot. It’s Maura’s father–the real adoptive one, not the mobster biological one who Jane shot and now is in prison–Arthur Isles. Maura steadfastly refuses to answer his calls, and instead starts singing French nursery rhymes to calm herself. See, it’s little idiosyncrasies like this that make Jane love Maura and guarantee that, one day, she will move in for good.

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As Jane is trying to explain why she hasn’t done so already, Mama Rizzoli wanders in from the guesthouse. Jane changes the subject to baseball immediately. She makes up some story about wanting to see a new player and Mama R chimes in that he is a “cutie.” Then Maura and Jane exchange knowing looks as Jane agrees that a “cutie” is exactly what Jane is looking for in a ballplayer and/or any sort of male.

Definitely. So straight, much heterosexual.

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