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Top Five Sketchy Suspects Who Are Probably “A” on “Pretty Little Liars”

After six seasons, hundreds of near-death experiences, thousands of red herrings, and enough anonymous texts to crash an iPhone, and on Tuesday, we are finally finding out the identity of A on Pretty Little Liars. To celebrate this momentous occasion in television history, I’ve come up with the top A suspects, based on science/process of elimination/random speculation.

Using my extensive knowledge of television plot twists, I’m going to venture a guess that A/Charles is someone that has been with us since the beginning of the show. Like, A is definitely not Rhys Matthews, because there’s no surprise in the reveal of A being a total stranger/character we just met. Also, Spencer said that Charles “felt familiar” when she confronted him in the dollhouse, so we know it’s someone the Liars know.

Also, for those of you convinced that Spencer is A, CUT IT THE FUCK OUT! Why would Spencer lock herself in a freezer/in a hi-tech shower/Radley/the fucking dollhouse? I’m calling shenanigans on any of the Liars being A, unless Aria’s accessories have achieved singularity and are now set on wiping out the human race, Skynet-style.

Jason DiLaurentis has always been a creepy sketchball, from his head transplant to his membership in the N.A.T. club to his obsession with photographing the inside of Aria’s ear. Or maybe Jason isn’t Jason at all-maybe Charles has been posing as him this entire time! What if Real Jason died in that elevator fall and Charles has been conning everyone for years?! Jason, consider yourself on notice.

Some people might think that A can’t be Bethany because they found her dead body, but we all know that death isn’t permanent in Rosewood. With the reveal that Bethany and Charles were BFFs in Radley, she has the motive and craziness to back it up. Also, how about those pictures she drew of Mrs. DiLaurentis? Creepy.

Alison’s soul mate Cece spent a whole summer swapping faces with Ali and hatching diabolical plans. She beat a snake to death with a mannequin leg, and was on the scene when Emily almost got bisected in a saw mill. Also, remember that time Aria karate-kicked her off a balcony and she LIVED?! Obvs one with the dark forces. Pus that fucking red coat.

Remember those nerdy twins who Alison used as masked accessories at the ice ball? This show fucking loves twins, and these girls have been floating around the periphery for a while now. Plus, we know that there are AT LEAST two people on the A-team (Black Hoodie and Red Coat), so why not these weirdos?

With his penchant for underage girls and his role as the only doctor in Rosewood, creepy Wren has been suspicious for quite some time. Despite living in London with Melissa, Wren is still capable of controlling things from across the pond, and for all we know Melissa could be his accomplice.

Speaking of, let’s talk about Accomplices: here are my top five sketchy bitches who I think are riding shotgun with Charles/A:

Shower Harvey is obvs hiding something, right? Best case scenario, she’s suffering from Stockholm syndrome and helplessly under A’s thrall. Worst case, she’s his/her partner in crime. Why do you think she’s taking so many showers? BC SHE’S WASHING OFF THE EVIL.

Lucas should probably be up-top with the big A suspects, but he just doesn’t strike me as a leader. Also, remember when Hanna smacked the shit out of him with a boat paddle? I don’t think Charles would have let that shit fly.

We’re all thinking it, right guys? I mean, come on.

Everyone’s favorite flute-playing bisexual has plenty of reason to hate Ali and the Liars. First, there’s the blinding by fireworks. Then, Aria killed her girlfriend Shana. Also, Emily spurned her eye-fucking advances in the Halloween flashback, which would cause any girl to go crazypants. And let’s not forget: bitch can see!

I mean, why not, especially if Wren is A…those Hastings love their secrets. Also, her tearful confession of murdering Bethany is the perfect device to throw everyone off her scent.

Who do you think is playing on the A-team? Am I an idiot for not including Mona on this list because despite all evidence to the contrary, she’s still Mona Fucking Vanderwaal? Tweet your theories to me @chelseaprocrast

The “Pretty Little Liars” Summer Finale airs Tuesday, August 11th on ABC Family.

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