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“Pretty Little Liars” recap (6.10): The One Where We Find Out Who A Is

Holy guacamole you guys. Last night on Pretty Little Liars we found out the identity of A! And it was next level bonkers! I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but in case you missed the episode/live under a rock without the internet, there will be SPOILERS in this recap. Oh yes, there will be spoilers. Consider yourself warned.

#CECEISA?! STOP SPOILERING IN HASHTAGS ABC FAMILY!

We open with Ali and the Liars running onto the roof of Radley, chasing Black Hoodie. BH jumps on the roof ledge, ready to jump. Ali begs them to stay, promising to get them help. Aria begs A not to do this to Ali. Hanna calls A a bitch but says she understands. A leans over and…

Flashback to the enchanted prom forest. Toby has told the Liars to wait for Tanner, but Emily is in no mood and wants to mount up and rescue Ali like some sort of lesbian Lancelot. Before she can gallop away, part of the forest fence opens revealing a red hood with a beastly mask. It’s Mona fucking Vanderwaal!

Sorry I’m late, I had to hack my way out of the big bad wolf’s belly

Mona tells the Liars that she’s been smurfing Ali (that’s what she said) and has traced Charles’s personal cell network (A…T&T? I fucking knew it) to the Carissimi group. She also knew immediately that Clark was an undercover cop because she saw his gun/dick bulge and is basically a genius.

Mona has x-ray vision? Ugh, why did I pick tonight of all nights to wear a strap-on in public?!

Meanwhile, Ali wakes up in a cell in Radley, surrounded by family photos and a dollhouse. She sees the unconscious (possibly dead?) bodies of Jason and her father on the floor.

I swear to God, if I roll over and it’s Lorenzo in bed next to me I will fucking kill myself

The Liars stake out the Carissimi group, where they see a bunch of guys loading duffel bags into a van. Hanna is so sure it’s Ali’s dead body, but the Liars tell her to stop being so morbid, as if Hanna didn’t spend an entire episode playing musical chairs with a barrel full of human remains. The Liars (and Mona and Sara) try breaking the code on the fancy pin pad, but get nowhere until Sara tells them to try the cupcake anniversary date A forced her to celebrate. I’d love to get into this more, but we’ve got A LOT of ground to cover.

Try 9999. It’s the number of orgasms I gave Hanna…

LAST NIGHT! Up high, anyone? No takers? Fuck you guys

Sara’s code works, and Liars stumble into an empty room. JK, a wooden panel opens revealing a 2001: A Space Odyssey-like control center with computers and screens and sentient desks and bleeps and blorps. It’s basically the hallway you are stuck in when you’re in line for Space Mountain. I hope Aria is tall enough to ride.

Guys, guys, guys! The files are INSIDE the computer!

The sentient desk opens its big red eye and projects a live camera hologram feed of Ali in Radley. Everyone crowds into the room, except for Sara, who shuts the space door and peaces the fuck out. DAMN YOU SHOWER SHARK!

Help me Obi Wan KeMona, you’re my only hope!

The Liars watch the Ali live-feed, and the see Ali pleading with A. The Black Hoodie turns around slowly reveal…A is CeCe Drake! DUN DUN DUN!

Surprise bitches!

CECE IS A.

NAOMI WAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTSSSSSS

A IS CECE.

But you let me shoplift from your boutique!?

BLACK HOODIE IS CECE DRAKE.

But you called me Americano!?

Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.

But I thought there would be cake?!

CeCe assures Ali that Jason and Mr. D. aren’t dead, just paralyzed but able to hear everything. Ali is dismayed that her former twinsie/BFF would do this to her, especially after she gave her that passport and plane ticket and that kicky black wig! Aria is so shocked she takes off her head band, for fear that this revelation is so huge it could cause her brain to explode.

You bitches ready for some hardcore exposition?!

CeCe reveals herself as the former Charles DiLaurentis, and her sad tale begins. (From this point forward, we will refer to Charles as CeCe or Charlotte.) FLASHBACK! Little Charlotte watches Ali in her crib adoringly. CeCe tells us in voice-over that she always loved Ali like she was her own little doll. When Baby Ali starts crying, Charlotte tries to get their mom’s attention. Charlotte decides to draw a bath for Ali and drops her in the tub. Kenneth DiLaurentis saves Ali just in time, and their parents toss Charlotte into Radley and throw away the key.

Sooo…I guess this asylum has an open door policy then?

Apparently, Kenneth wasn’t just upset that Charlotte seemingly tried to drown Ali. He was uncomfortable having a child who preferred wearing dresses and playing in their mother’s closet. He couldn’t deal with having a trans child, so he threw that child into a well of isolation and insanity. The Liars are quick to feel sorry for Jason, and quick to condemn Kenneth for being a shitbag.

These fools are dead! JK, they’re probably fine I think

While Kenneth never saw Charlotte again, Jessica DiLaurentis couldn’t give up on her child as easily, and continued to visit. Charlotte spends the next seven years alone in Radley. When Charlotte turned 12, Jessica started bringing her dresses. Anything she bought for Ali, she’d buy for Charlotte as well.

Fierce as fuck

We then cut to a 12 year old Charlotte, in a yellow dress, on the Radley roof with their best friend, Bethany Young. They dream about escaping Radley, and try to come up with a great lie to bring them to freedom. Mrs. Cavanaugh walks out onto the roof and Charlotte hides in fear of being discovered in a dress. Bethany promises to help Charlotte, and she does so by pushing Mrs. Cavanaugh off the roof. UhOh, Bethany is fucking crazy and now we know how Toby’s mom died.

Bye Felicia!

Why would you say that?!

Trust me, this will be hilarious in like, 10 years

Charlotte is horrified, and Bethany calls them a freak and blames the murder on Charlotte. Everyone believes that the dress-wearing boy must be the murderer, and Jessica bribes Wilden to declare the death a suicide. Charlotte is diagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder and is pumped full of meds.

This is Miranda, but we’re not talking because she’s being a real bitch right now

JK, she’s a mannequin! Also, we made up hours ago!

Spencer is heartbroken, because all this time Toby thought his mother killed herself, and that thought became an indelible part of his personal history. Bad things rarely just hurt the victim. There’s always a ripple effect of pain that radiates outward to those left behind. By covering up the murder, Jessica gave Charlotte a master class in manipulation and control.

Desperately trying to hold in her “I told you so”

Eventually, Charlotte is released to Jessica, who finances the transition and buries Charles in the backyard. Charlotte returns to Radley officially as Charlotte. An alarm goes off, and the Liars see Red Coat building a bomb. CeCe is spilling all her secrets because she’s going to blow up Radley. Fair enough, girl. Fair. Enough.

This sisterly reunion is gonna be da bomb! Bc I’m blowing us all up

Charlotte builds an isolated life for herself at Radley, filling her room with books and studying like a fiend. Jessica arrives with news: Charlotte is still stuck at Radley (seriously? WTF is the statute of limitations on this? Did Jessica just bribe all the doctors to keep her there indefinitely?!) but they are allowing her to take classes at U Penn because she is so brilliant. Charlotte starts attending school, but is quickly bored and more interested in reuniting with her long-lost family.

Give me another minute. I’m almost done with “Omnipresence for Dummies”

Devry online? But their supervillain coursework is subpar at best!

FLASHBACK! Charlotte crashes picture day at Rosewood High, where she flirts up a storm with Jason. Yup, Charlotte’s grand plan is to date her way into her brother’s life! She introduces herself as CeCe Drake, and the incest train rolls out of the station.

I would love to come over later and film you without your knowledge

TIMEOUT. So we just heard the really sad and fucked up origin story of CeCe Drake. We’ve covered her childhood and her years at Radley and shit-show parents. But now we’re getting into the full scale A shenanigans that CeCe is pulling, and here’s where things start to get a little fucking nuts.

So I gave our brother like, 19 reach arounds…we’ve all been there, am I right ladies?

NOPE NOPE NOPE INFINITY

Ali is appropriately grossed out by CeCe dating their brother, but CeCe is super nonchalant about it and promises she never fucked Jason…that’s why he was so frustrated in high school! CeCe then admires herself in the mirror and is all, “who could blame him? I’m a hot piece of ass” and Ali’s face is like, “oh shit this bitch is cray.”

who’s the fairest of them all?

you know that mirrors can’t answer you, right?

Eventually, Jason introduces his hot girlfriend to his parents, and Kenneth doesn’t recognize CeCe at all. Jessica is horrified that CeCe is “running around with her children” and CeCe is heartbroken that she’s not considered one of her kids. Jessica confesses to CeCe that she told Kenneth Charles was dead, and CeCe realizes that Jessica did it not to protect her, but to protect her dirty secrets.

Don’t cry mom, Cape May isn’t that kind of Jersey Shore

Jessica protests that Kenneth would never have let her transition, but CeCe feels rejected and heartbroken. CeCe goes to leave, but Kenneth thought she was coming with the family to Cape May. CeCe looks at her family, all packed up and blonde and shiny and ready to go to the beach and decides to join them. She spends the summer with the DiLaurentises in Cape May, partying with Jason and getting super close with Ali.

SPRING BREAK FOREVER!

Ali tries to put together the pieces of that summer in light of this earth-shattering news, and asks CeCe why she didn’t tell her the truth after they got close. Apparently CeCe was planning to, but Bethany broke out of Radley to come after Jessica for having an affair with her father. So Bethany steals some of CeCe’s yellow tank tops and storms the DiLaurentis house.

Here I am, rock you like a hurricane!

In an effort to protect Jessica, CeCe takes a rock and bashes Bethany in the head. ONLY IT WASN’T BETHANY Y’ALL. CeCe accidentally bashed Ali, because this was the night that at least 30 blonde girls dressed in yellow tank tops went traipsing through the DiLaurentis backyard. Jessica watches in horror from the window, and quickly runs out to bury Ali in the yard to cover for CeCe. Jessica furiously digs the grave as CeCe cries despondently in the corner.

I feel like we should check her pulse or something…

NO TIME SHUT UP AND DIG!

CeCe begs her mom’s forgiveness, despite accidentally sorta killing her sister. Back at the lair, Mona has tears in her eyes as she comes to her own realization. Mona whacked Bethany Young with a shovel, thinking she was Ali. Mona had been sending Ali threatening texts for funsies, but when she saw her that night all she could hear were the cruel names Ali called her. So Mona hulked out and shoveled Bethany, whose body was later found and buried by Melissa Hastings. Mona feels bad that she murdered an innocent person, but the Liars remind her that Bethany wasn’t so innocent. I mean, she basically did Rosewood a public service by shoveling that bitch.

You may have heard I killed a bitch

Welcome to club, we’ll fill out your paperwork later.

I mean, I think the real lesson here is that you should always look someone in the eye before you bludgeon them to make sure you have the right victim. Otherwise, life is just one big violent French farce.

All this because I look too damn good in yellow!

Jessica bribes Wilden to sneak CeCe back into Radley and shut his dumb mouth. CeCe is devastated that she’ll never be let out of Radley again, and begs Jessica to forgive her. She hugs her mother desperately, but Jessica doesn’t return the hug. It’s heartbreaking.

You can send me back to Radley, just please don’t make me go back to Jersey

Meanwhile, back in the lair, Mona presses some buttons on the sentient desk and declares that CeCe is basically the wolf of wall street and has used her brilliance to become a gazillionaire. They let her invest from Radley? And Rhys is some dum-dum who knows nothing. Okay, fine, whatever.

I love that every field is N/A and Spencer is immediately like, “he’s innocent!”

Now we get to the point in the timeline where Mona is busted as A and sent to Radley. CeCe is immediately interested in this beautiful crazy genius of a girl, and sat cross-legged in her red bathrobe as Mona told her everything there was to know about the Liars. Mona was so doped up on drugs that she legit thought she was talking to Alison.

I heard you were gangsta. I’m rather gangsta myself.

You interested in 40+ hours of high school gossip about some girls you don’t know?

OBVIOUSLY

CeCe is super bummed when Mona is weaned off the meds and can no longer give her all the gossip. She used Mona’s magical powers to break out of Radley, but didn’t trust her. I mean, this girl loved Hanna and STILL ran her over with a car! #loyaltyfail. Mona looks at Hanna all sad-eyed and apologizes, but Hanna is like, “girl, that was season one. I’ve forgiven you all your transgressions through season 7 at least.”

Would you believe I ran you over out of love?

With Mona’s intel/wizardry, CeCe is able to enter Rosewood and insert herself into the Liars’ group. She promises them free stolen clothing, calls Emily “Americano”, and tosses a snake into Spencer’s dressing room just so she can beat it to death with a mannequin leg. At Radley, they call that field hockey.

NAILED it

CeCe is on a mission to fuck with the Liars, because Mona told her how happy they were to have Ali dead and gone. It pissed her off, those girls were supposed to be Ali’s friends! CeCe kept seeing someone in a red coat stalking the girls, and realized that Ali might be alive. She decided to put the Liars in danger to suss out Ali, knowing that she wouldn’t let her friends die. So CeCe set up the lodge fire (with an assist from Sara Harvey in an Ali mask) to smoke out (lol) Alison.

Really hoping this was Quinn Fabray and we were finally getting a Glee crossover

At this point, Alison’s head is just about ready to explode. If CeCe cared about her so much, then why was she still playing the A game? CeCe confesses that she was ready to bail after the NYC shooting, but the game was too addictive. Ali is furious and starts listing off the fucked up things CeCe did: attacking her in her home, turning Aria and Spencer in popsicles, driving a car through Emily’s house, almost sawing Emily in half. How does CeCe respond? She was only trying to get Ali’s attention! Plus, it’s not like anyone got “really” hurt.

They are FINE, Alison. Emotionally scarred, sure, but they are still breathing. You’re welcome!

When Ali tells her that she can’t just kidnap people and treat them like dolls, CeCe looks right into the camera and is all, “I can and I did and I would do it again because the world is my playground motherfuckers!” She says that she loves all her dolls, which is why they are still alive. God, I would love to see a supercut of all the scenes of the Liars in jeopardy with CeCe Drake running in at the last minute screaming, “JK, y’all!”

WU TANG CLAN AIN’T NOTHING TO FUCK WITH!

FLASHBACK! Wilden’s funeral. Black Veil is Sara Fucking Harvey, and she gets into a limo with CeCe and assures her Wilden is dead. CeCe killed him because he knew Ali was alive. Despite getting locked in this fucking lair by Sara, Emily JUST NOW realizes she’s a shady bitch and CeCe is all #sorrynotsorry.

Hey girl, ready to hit the goth prom?

Emily is pissed as fuck, and starts banging on the door to get out. The Liars realize that Sara didn’t call the cops because A)she evil and B) Tanner is probably in CeCe’s pocket anyway. Spencer searches the room for an escape hatch, and finds some lights blinking differently than all the other lights. Mona Vanderwaal came to fucking play, so she takes off her stiletto, reveals a knife in the heel, and bashes the wall in. The secret escape hatch opens, and the Liars run to save Ali. Mona decides to stay and watch the rest of the story unfold. She tells Hanna to be careful, because they are OTP.

Aria is so coveting those shiny weaponized heels

GLASS IN MY SHOE

FLASHBACK! CeCe comes home to say goodbye to Jessica, but finds her dead in the front yard. Sobbing and distraught, she hugs Jessica’s body before burying her in Spencer’s backyard. She calls Jessica the only person who ever loved her (despite throwing her in an insane asylum forever). This episode is legit ridiculous, but Vanessa Ray is acting her ass off. We genuinely feel sorry for the damaged crazy doll that is CeCe.

I’ll bury you in the place you loved most…The Hastings azalea bush

The Liars bust into Radley and find Sara Harvey in her red coat, rigging the bomb. Ali and CeCe make a grab for the detonator, but CeCe gets it and hits the button. Nothing happens, because Spencer defused the bomb. I think bomb disposal was something she learned prepping for the academic decathlon.

duck and cover!

Ali chases CeCe to the roof, and begs the Liars to help her. Sara tries to join the chase, but Emily is like, “No fucking way.” Sara claims that she was trying to keep Emily safe (LOLOL) and Emily punches her right in her overly-washed face. Ka-blam!

The Liars chase Ali and CeCe up to the roof, and we are back at the opening of the episode. They beg CeCe not to jump, and CeCe steps back onto the roof. She says, “Game over,” and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Okay…NOW I’m done.

FLASH FORWARD! It’s Labor Day weekend, and the Liars are all packed up and heading off to college! Emily is off to Pepperdine, Aria is off to the Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD), Spencer is off to Georgetown, and Hanna is off to fictional New York School with Caleb.

Overalls AND a baseball tee? Are you majoring in lesbianism at Georgetown?

If only, am I right shippers?

Alison is staying in Rosewood, presumably because she is A) tired of running and B) legit missed all of high school. Everyone hugs and gets teary-eyed and Spencer quotes Winnie the Pooh. The Liars drive off, leaving Ali all alone.

And Aria, I’ll miss you least of all

Okay guys, see you at break. Unless CeCe hacked our GPS, in which case I guess I’ll meet y’all at an abandoned magic shoppe in Eerie PA?

FLASH MORE FORWARD! Like five years forward. Ali is in an empty classroom, writing “Mrs. Rollins” on the board. (Apparently she’s a teacher now?) The Liars rush in, all in different wigs, and shout at Ali to come with them because “he” is already here! We see a panicked look on Ali’s face and the episode ends.

Do you like my bangs?

NO!

So, there it is, a bushel full of answers from CeCe Drake. But how does Sara Harvey fit into all this? Was she brainwashed by CeCe? Is Bethany really dead?

But the question to beat all questions is this: why did the writers decide to make A a trans person? Haven’t trans characters been villainized enough in popular culture? I saw many people on Twitter who were disappointed to see this plot twist from a show (and a network) known for queer-friendly content. Queerness has always been an integral part of PLL, and the show has never shied away from that. So to have the ultimate villain be another “crazy trans person” feels like a slap in the face.

But isn’t CeCe just another victim of the Rosewood patriarchy? Hasn’t she had her agency, her power, her freedom stripped from her by white men of authority? I feel like the real villain of this piece is Kenneth DiLaurentis, who used Charles’s gender dysphoria as an excuse to lock them up in Radley, along with all the doctors, lawyers, and cops who allowed this to take place.

For that matter, I don’t believe that the creators and writers of PLL are saying that CeCe is crazy because she is trans. CeCe is crazy because she was rejected by the family that was supposed to love her and locked in solitary confinement in a mental institution for most of her life. Her trans identity is never referred to as part of her “illness.” It’s simply another facet of her complex character. And complex characters are the lifeblood of television.

Finally, this isn’t Orange is the New Black or Transparent. This is Pretty Little Liars, a night-time soap that, in the great tradition of soaps before it (Melrose Place, Dynasty, Dallas) lives on zany plot twists and arch characters. Are we really demanding realism from a show where psychics pull girls out of shallow graves and birds tweet secret phone numbers?

I guess, if I have a final thought, it is this: Fuck Shower Harvey. Girl, you don’t even go here.

What did you think of the CeCe as A reveal? Tweet me your giant feelings @chelseaprocrast

A massive thanks as always to Nicole @PLLBigA for her screengrabs…she is the Red Coat to my Black Hoodie.

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