“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (6.09): The surly girlfriend with the fringe on top

Previously on Rizzoli & Isles: Jane gets cold feet about moving in with Maura. Mama Rizzoli tries to U-Haul them, but she still moves in with Frankie instead. Maura visits anyway and they talk about her daddy issues.

Jane barges into Maura’s place per usual, but this morning she has an extra spring in her step. Did I say spring? I meant to say swish. Our intrepid detective has upgraded her wardrobe per Dr. Maura Isles’ suggestion. Did I say upgraded? I meant to say fringed. She fringed the fuck out.

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Jane calls Maura a “genius” for pushing her to change up her look. And she is excited to branch out even more into the exciting world of overalls. You know when Dr. Frankenstein looks up and realizes he has created a monster. That’s just about the same look of terror Maura has on her face when she sees Jane’s new fashion sense. Like, “Dear God, what have I done?”

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Still, Maura manages to keep it relatively cool. She does her best to pretend her horror isn’t palpable. So she puts on a brave good girlfriend face and tries to politely sidestep the style atrocities in front of her. But, as a gay woman, you know she was also having some serious Indigo Girls circa the Strange Fire era flashbacks. Like, I mean late ’80s Melissa Etheridge called and she wants her jacket back.

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Maura gets saved, somewhat, by the bell. It’s A.I., but as Jane notes, she is still avoiding calls from “our father.” Isn’t it nice when they slip up and show us how they really feel? I mean, sometimes it’s not even a slip up. Maura is quite literally letting her mother-in-law live with her for free.

Jane continues to assert her familial rights by stealing Maura’s phone to text professor-not-doctor Isles to set up a time for the two to finally talk. Maura snatches her phone back and gives her a patented girlfriend glare. Oh, you know the one. But then Jane presses her to get it all out with him once and for all.

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Maura calls the kettle black and throws Jane’s inability to discuss her feelings back at her. Oh, kids, get the popcorn. This is gonna be one of those arguments. That’s right, Maura, tell her how it feels to have to keep your relationship a secret. Tell her how ridiculous it is she is living with her brother instead of you. Tell her how it feels to live a lie.

Naturally Jane deflects and brings it all back to the fringe. Oh, Jane. Never mind, I don’t know why I keep complaining about you being in the closet. You’re swishing around in a fringe leather jacket. I don’t think it’s physically possible for a lesbian to be more out than that.

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While Jane and Maura may be feeling crime solving/target shooting while riding a horse incredible, they still have a case to solve. So they “Rizzoli” and “Isles” themselves into another “terrible” murder. Again, I implore the dispatchers to save time and rollover minutes by just calling one of them. We all know they’re always together anyway.