TV

The Worst Lesbian and Bisexual TV Characters of 2015…so far

If you know me at all, you know I tend to focus more on the positive side of things. However, as someone who consumes a lot of media, I can’t help but notice when a queer character is simply not hitting the mark. Whether it’s because of lack of good writing, poor character development, or that a character simply doesn’t work, we’ve seen some less than epic characters this season in TV this year. (The fact that I can actually make a list like this shows that we are at a point in pop culture and inclusion where we can be picky. What a time to be alive.)

This is not about characters who are anti-heroes or “unlikeable,” because those roles are often some of the best we see on TV. Also, before you raise the pitchforks and get to lighting those torches, some of these characters are here though no fault of their own. In fact, I really love a few that unfortunately ended up here.

Oh, where to begin with Sara Harvey. I’ve made no bones about the fact that I’m a Paily shipper, but I would have sailed to Antarctica on the SS Emison if that meant that Sara Harvey was no more. Even after the finale, I’m still at a loss as to who Sara Harvey is and why she joined forces with Charlotte. Dre Davis, while lovely as all get out, was simply not at the same level as the other players and it showed from time to time. Maybe that just comes with the territory when you step into a show with established actors and characters, but her Sara’s scenes with Emily always felt uneven. The writing, which is almost always quite strong on PLL, seemed to just flop around like a dead fish when it came to Sara, too. All those showers, and we still don’t feel clean.

Stahma, Stahma, Stahma, I’m so sorry to interrupt your bath, but we need to talk. Jaime Murray is a masterful actress, but even she struggled to rise above this season’s terrible storyline. The once powerful, omnisexual, dynamo has been reduced to a shell of her former glory. Considering Stahma is one of Defiance‘s most popular and crucial characters, this is most disappointing. It’s not you Stahma, it’s them.

There’s ex-girlfriend baggage, then there’s ex-girlfriend baggage. However, that’s not my major beef with Margo. While it’s obvious that Margo was sent to us to be a palate cleanser for our broken hearts over Grenna, she was a grown ass women trying to date a 16-year-old high school student. Check yourself, adult characters: If your girlfriend only has her driver’s permit, she’s too young to date. Dear ABC Family, you know I adore you, but please stop with these inappropriate age differences. Margo had her charms, but she was a placeholder-and an obvious one at that.

Sigh. What a mess this character became during Gotham‘s first season. She found herself in not one, but two harmful tropes. The old and tired “Unfaithful Bisexual” AND the “Mentally Unstable Queer” trope. Two for one! Booooooooooo. Maybe I’m just mad about the fact that Gotham discarded Renee Montoya like one of the Penguin’s broken umbrellas, but it was clear from the get go that the show runners and writers simply didn’t know what the hell to do with these two queer ladies.

This season, Barbara is supposed to become one of the big bads, and after watching her spiral down into unhealthy relationships and, you know, matricide and patricide, I just can’t get on board with Gotham. Producers teased that Barbara will be torn between two lovers this season, one male and one female (trope numero tres!). Even a new lady love interest is not enough to make up for the mess they made of poor Barbara’s story.

Charlie, this isn’t about you, because you are the cinnamon roll or all cinnamon rolls. Charlie ends up on this list because of literal character assignation and the way she was used as a plot device for the male characters on the show to have some emotional breakthroughs. Must. Need. Dead. Woman. To. Avenge. Nope. The powers that be over at Supernatural know why we are so disappointed with them, and they got a big ol’ taste of it at Comic-Con. Charlie was this wondrous bright spot in a show that often goes very dark. Having her sacrifice her life for the Winchester brothers was not befitting such a once great character.

We all wanted One Big Happy to be better. For a show written and produced by two lesbians, having the show’s leading lady lezzie Lizzy spend a majority of her time chasing around her best male friend and baby daddy was just boring. Did this show even pass the Bechdel test? My heart aches for Elisha Cuthbert who is so great and funny, and had to labor through this unfunny and tired role. Why, One Big Happy, why? You could have been so great, but you decided to play safe and thus robbed us of a joke cracking, adorable lesbian character full of possibility.

Ugh, how did something so right go so wrong? The French version of The Returned was so good, and even as the American version tried to be true to the original, something got lost in translation. The queer couple on A&E’s The Returned were so dull. So so dull. Wooden acting from actresses we love smacks of a bigger problem. This show just didn’t have the passion and spirit of the original. Even a steamy makeout scene and cop uniforms did little to redeem these lifeless characters.

I’m furious about this. No, but seriously-this trope is so played out it’s exhausting. Lesbians are not angry monsters, unless you fuck with our favorite characters on television. Then it’s like the wrath of a thousand fiery suns.

Dear TeeVee writers, please don’t bring on a lesbian character, slap some flannel on her and call it a day-especially if she’s is adorable, and a firefighter. You robbed us of so much goodness between Crickett and Jaysene, most of their interactions happening off-screen, that I can’t in good conscious let this slide. Jaysene might have well been a ghost-girlfriend, and not in a sexy True Blood kinda way. Sincerely, Dana (Ms. Piccoli if you’re nasty.)

Seriously, did Tara get eaten in the last season? We’ve seen so little of her that she could be fertilizer by now and we wouldn’t know. (Actually, she is alive, but only after being nearly mortally injured and spending a majority of the season off camera.) Tara is plucky as hell, but we are treated to so little of her character, it’s hard to remember she even exists. Also, when it comes to potential romance, we are probably out of luck. It’s hard enough to find a date now, let alone when 99% of the population is dead or the undead.

Damnit, Kalinda, what did they do to you! It hurts me most of all to include Kalinda on this list, but this once fierce and fabulous character went from being top dog to practically puppy-ized in her final season. The drama behind the scenes didn’t help (and neither did this interview with Michelle and Robert “Josh wasn’t really killed” King). For a time, Kalinda was one of the best bisexual characters to ever grace the small screen, but with her ties cut to Alicia and their chemistry filled friendship, she kind of bounced around aimlessly for the last couple seasons. It’s not a surprise that Archie Panjabi wanted to move on, and who could blame her? Kalinda deserved better and so did the rest of us.

Okay, so who do you think were the worst lesbian and bi characters on television this year?

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