“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (6.11): Gaycation, all I ever wanted

Isn’t that cute, even the Boston Police Department clearly wants these two crazy kids to get together. Why else would they foot the bill to send Jane and Maura there together? Jane, of course, complains about having to go to the land of sun and sand and stars. But Maura thinks it will be fun, or another word to accurately describe going on an all-expenses-paid romantic cross-country trip with your girlfriend.

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Now real California instead of California-pretending-to-be-Boston, Jane and Maura’s first order of business is to rent a car. Jane is struggling with some video-conference car rental kiosk. I’d say it’s ridiculous product placement, but I can’t actually find a real company called “Agence Car Rental.” So instead it’s just, uh, weird.

Speaking of weird, Jane’s credit card is declined when she tries to upgrade their car. Maura bonds with the video-conference car clerk about delicious strawberry-mango juice drinks, as Maura would. She also steps in to pay for the upgrade to something stylish, tasteful and fast. Yep, that’s pretty much every lesbian’s ideal women.

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So they strut out to a powder-blue Aston Martin convertible–turbo. Jane would be thrilled, but she can’t drive since Maura rented the car. OK, she is still pretty thrilled. Hot sun, hot car, hot girl. Yeah, California doesn’t look so bad now, does it Jane?

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They arrive at the LAPD Robbery Homicide Department and are greeted by the detective on the case. I’m not sure why the detective would tell Jane she is “not in Kansas anymore” since it’s not like Boston is some tiny rural hamlet with dirt roads and abundant haystacks. Wait, oh, OK—I get it. That’s a Wizard of Oz reference. So, clearly, he has already figured out Jane is a friend of Dorothy.

Maura, meanwhile, has found her nerdy, non-speculating doppelganger (though, not in style or overall adorability) in the LA medical examiner. Jane has a brief glimpse of what her life might have been like were she actually straight–shivers, and thanks the universe for making her a gaymo.

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On the so-called case they used as an excuse to take a gaycation together, Jane and Maura discover that both victims were strangled in a similar way by a left-handed assailant. But the LA dead guy was a homeless man and the Boston dead guy was someone who faked his own death and assumed his name. They also discover breakfast burritos. Frankie, who was dying to be the third wheel on this trip, is jealous beyond words. You should be, Francesco/Francis Jr.–breakfast burritos are delicious.