“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (6.12): She is worth every penny

Previously on Rizzoli & Isles: Jane and Maura go on a romantic, all-expenses-paid vacation to L.A. Maura drives a fast car. Jane hates L.A. and gets hacked. But that’s not really L.A.’s fault, is it?

Maura keeps watching the Jane’s arsonist apartment snuff film over and over. She calls it terrible; Jane says not to panic. Come on, they can’t do some cute flirting in the kitchen first to ease us into what will most certainly be an intense summer finale?

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Jane tells Maura to turn off the Internet and stop reading Rizzles fanfic. No, Jane, that would actually help her relax at this critical moment. Instead she suggests Maura go cut open a body. Fine, maybe she does know what relaxes her girlfriend.

But Maura is too pissed because someone is trying to hurt her woman and she is having absolutely none of it. She calls it a terrible burden and worries about Mama Rizzoli, too. Aw, she is so sweet to her Mama R-in-law.

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But Jane tells her she absolutely cannot tell Mama R. Maura pulls her George Washington and says she cannot tell a lie. But Jane corrects her and says their tiny closet processing session fixed all of that.

Maura says she will try, then gets a phone call. There’s a homicide, so she goes to leave. Jane looks down at her totally silent phone. Hello, is this thing on? She shakes it just in case. But, alas, no “Rizzoli” and “Isles” synchronized greetings this episode. Yep, shit is getting serious.

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She runs past Korsak to get her jacket and follow Maura to the scene. But Korsak tells her to start pulling files because she is on desk duty. Wait, wait, wait–you can’t separate Maura and Jane.

Whither Maura goest, Jane will go. Where Maura lodgest, Jane will lodge. Thy people shall be her people. And by “thy people,” I mean thy dead people, obviously. What? They investigate murders for a living.

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Maura arrives on the scene, conspicuously without Jane. The victim was the previously ebullient woman who stuffed an envelope of cash into her underwear drawer before foaming at the mouth and keeling over. See, money really can’t buy happiness, or a long enough lifespan to enjoy it. The victim seems to be a junkie who recently got clean and celebrated with a butterfly tattoo.