“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 6.05 “Litmus Test”

Dirty looks — As Niki hops around on the dance floor (to the awesome “Beat Control” by Tilly and the Wall), Kit and Jenny watch her from Gothville. Kit looks like Elvira and Jenny looks like the girl from The Ring — and yeah, I know I’ve said that before, but she so does!

Tasha, Alice and Jamie are also busting a move. I guess they look like they’re having fun, but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it does: Shane notices that Jenny is reading her text messages. Um, not her text messages: Shane’s text messages. On Shane’s phone. When Shane confronts her, Jenny seems to think it’s perfectly reasonable for her to be on the lookout for text messages from Niki.

Tasha, Alice and Jamie sit down, all giggles and flirtation. Shane interrupts with a plea.

Shane: I need your help. OK? She’s driving me f—ing crazy, and all I need is five minutes. So please, just keep her busy.

Trouble is, Alice still isn’t talking to Jenny. But she agrees to help Shane. These crumbs of hope are making me believe that their friendship can survive.

Jenny sees Shane leaving and asks where she’s going.

Shane: Someone told me that I left my headlights on.

OK, but be careful: for all you know, “headlights” may mean “super-duper Niki-sensing magnet” in the Schecter vernacular.

Somewhere quiet — Helena and Dylan are at Dylan’s place. They try to make small talk and drink tea, but what they really want to do is make out. So they do, and it’s exquisite; it’s hesitant and hungry at the same time. And the scene is utterly silent, which makes it even more intense. And it seems authentic, too — isn’t it nice when they look like they know what they’re doing?

Wow: sometimes women actually touch each other on this show! Thank you, Angela Robinson. The lack of nookie was beginning to wear on me a little. And it was making me question this whole endeavor: if I wanted to see straight girls not having sex, I’d watch All My Children.

Side note: what’s with all the garters on TV lately? Marcia Gay Harden has been fondling hers at every opportunity on Damages. Not that I’m complaining, but it’s an odd trend. Next thing you know, women will be having sex on lesbian-themed shows. Nutty!

The Hit (on) club — Outside the club, Shane is enjoying her five Jenny-free minutes by smoking a cigarette. But solitude will not be hers today. Niki shows up, still in seduction mode. Shane tries to beat a hasty retreat.

Niki: What — you’re not gonna talk to me?
Shane: I shouldn’t.
Niki: Why not?
Shane: Jenny’s inside.
Niki: What about her?
Shane: We’re together.

Niki confesses that she was hoping maybe Shane was interested in doing more together than trapping Dylan.

Shane: I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean that. I think you’re a super-sweet girl. I hope you know that. And if Jenny wasn’t in the picture, maybe, you know, things would be different.

Niki, you have my sympathy. You’ve collided with the wrong group of friends. Everyone’s smashing together like so many atoms — anybody know of a good bomb shelter?