“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 6.05 “Litmus Test”

Alice, Kit, Shane and Jenny are there to support Helena and watch the show. And eat popcorn.

Alice: [to Shane, about Jenny] What is she doing here?
Shane: Look, I really don’t understand what this is all about … I just think it’s a huge misunderstanding. I really do.
Alice: What? What about it did I misunderstand? Was it when Jenny stole my idea, or when she sold it for half a million dollars?

Jenny begs Alice to stop “acting like a child,” but if I were in Alice’s shoes, I’d be moping and distracted for at least a day or two, if not a week. That’s not childish: that’s just natural.

Jenny: [to Alice’s back] I did not steal your idea. Alice, was it your idea when the terrorist has a nookyaler weapon that’s gonna blow up the building, or was it your idea when the hero of the romantic comedy has to rush to the wedding in order to save his beloved from getting married, or — wait, was Beverly Hills Cop your idea too?
Alice: Can you just stop slinging your bulls— at me? OK? I’m serious. Maybe Shane is buying into your act — obviously she is. But I see you. OK? Stay away from me before I f—ing kill you.

Yes, Jenny really said nook-ya-ler, à la George W. Bush. That’s almost more disappointing — I never thought she was truly diabolical, and I certainly never thought she was dumb. But as of this episode, I’m conceding both points.

They watch the monitors as Dylan arrives, looking adorably librarianish.

And then Niki arrives. She waves at the security system cameras and calls Shane.

Jenny: Why does Niki have your phone number?

Aaaack! Of all your unattractive qualities, Jen, this new extreme jealousy thing is the worst.

Helena — who seems especially beautiful in this episode, to the point of actually taking my breath away — gives the go-ahead, so Niki goes to Dylan’s table. They’re in a semi-private area, with Casablanca-y curtains and pillows and champagne. It’s the right setting for a seduction, but Niki doesn’t quite have the game. She can’t even remember the name of Dylan’s movie. This causes Jenny to smack her forehead, giving us a glimpse of a far, far preferable time when her madness was more on the kooky end of the scale.