“Empire” recap (2.1): You Can’t Even Dyke Right

The fact that Empire is queer is a given. It was created by two out gay men (Lee Daniels and Danny Strong) and is run by L Word creator (and, duh, out lesbian) Ilene Chaiken. But as the show focuses on the Lyon family who, aside from Cookie, is all male, there was more about gay dude sexuality than anything for the ladies, minus a few episodes introducing us to Tiana’s girlfriend and some glimpses of AzMarie Livington‘s character Chicken. Suffice to say, it wasn’t enough to recap the show weekly (although, truly, we’ve recapped for less).

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But Season 2 has swung toward the Sapphic, introducing Marisa Tomei as a lesbian billionaire (a recurring role), and her presence alone having a spiral effect onto the women around her (namely one Boo Boo Kitty). And not only Mimi Whiteman (said billionaire), but we also meet a teen rapper named Freda (Bre-Z) who isn’t straight, though it doesn’t appear her sexuality will factor much into the show. (She could just be the only one not having sex on Empire.)

So here we are, recapping this magnificently soapy, gay show for all of its relevant moments, in hopes the lesbian tendencies in everyone will shine through. (I’m an optimist.)

In last night’s Season 2 premiere, “The Devil’s Are Here,” Cookie (the magnificent Taraji P. Henson) throws a benefit concert to #FreeLucious, despite her being well aware that her husband is doing the time for doing the crime. But Cookie proves she knows how to work a crowd, donning a gorilla suit and addressing the crowd from a cage, using the all-too-real horrors of police brutality and injustice of the correctional system to rally the public in support of Lucious. It’s not like she misses him, though. Cookie just wants to save the Empire. 

empire-gorillaDamn that man, but save this motha fucking Empire.

This concert was not for Lucious, really. It was for Ms. Mimi Whiteman, a lesbian with so much money, she has custom-designed suits made for her that absolutely no one else would wear. 

She’s also that brand of rich lesbian that is so mad with power, she is cool with making women feel sexually uncomfortable. (You know, like a powerful man would!) “Is Lucious the reason we’re here?” Mimi asks. “I hope that’s not the only reason you’re here,” Cookie says, flirtatiously. “You in that dress, Cookie, I can think of all kinds of reasons.”

empire-mimi-suit empire-mimi-dressWhen I say I like your dress, I think we all know I’m saying I would fuck you.

Somehow Lucious is in a prison with premium cable that is streaming this #FreeLucious concert, and he happens to catch a little bit of it while on a stroll through the hallway. And the camera man has some kind of ESP, because he knows to zoom in on Mimi and Cookie looking cozy in conversation. 

tumblr_nv67hf3kb41qhuamdo1_r1_500I am offended that this suit screamed “lesbian” to him.