“Empire” recap (2.1): You Can’t Even Dyke Right

Lucious is dealing with other issues, though. His old friend Frank (Chris Rock) has moved into the cell next door. If you like Chris Rock, I’m sorry. He’s not going to be around long.

At Empire, Cookie says she’s going to check on Tiana and Jamal is on a power trip. He goes to visit his dad in prison, which leads to Lucious asking, “Who was that lesbian bitch in the red suit at the concert that was cuddled up with your mama?” Jamal has no idea who this lesbian bitch could be. He was too busy performing and Cookie failed to do her due diligence in introducing her gay son to her new lesbian friend. Anyway, Lucious wants the 411 and we can applaud his gaydar. 

Later that night, Cookie throws Mimi a lesbian party unlike any I’ve ever been to before. Is this what goes on at Jodie Foster’s house on the weekends? There are ladies in bikinis making out in indoor hot tubs and women dresses as Playboy bunnies serving champagne. 

empire-bunniesempire-hot-tub-partyLike an indoor Dinah

Cookie is trying to entertain and entice Ms. Whiteman (who is wearing a much more flattering outfit), but while Mimi seems flattered, she has her eye on “Anita” (aka Anika). Anita says she’s heard a lot about Mimi and wants to know who, where, how and why because then she’ll be able to draw up a chart real quick and figure out any ex-gf overlap.

empire-mimi-like-youDo you ever hang out at the Cubby Hole?

But it’s all about business for the Lyons, and Hakeem interrupts after he spots Mimi complimenting Anika on her birthmark (a lesbian line if I ever heard one), and Cookie joins in to say she wants to save the Empire from Lucious in the name of her sons. Mimi toasts to the children “and the pretty babies” while taking a long look at Anika’s assets. 

empire-stareI hope she likes this next little ditty I asked the DJ to put on.

In other gay happenings, Jamal and his ex-boyfriend Michael seem to be working things out. They talk about how Jamal’s career success is a turn on, and how he is going to be a part of an “LGBT party.” Jamal doesn’t want to talk business, though. He’s all “Ryan is a hoe!” (See Season 1) and it’s clear these two are going to be signing off of Grindr for the night.

empire-jamal I’d like to make sure your kissing is still on point before we decide if we want to give this thing a go again.