“Gotham” recap (2.8): Going to the chapel

While last week’s episode had zero Barbara action, she returns full force in this one. Unfortunately, the show she’s returning to is still Gotham, so she has to execute her evil plan in the least feminist way possible. And, speaking of last week, I can’t believe they turned Miss Kringle’s murder into a zany treasure hunt for her body parts! Oof, read the room, guys. It’s bad enough you’re killing all these female characters, but maybe try not to make comedy routines with their corpses.

batslap8

We open with Barbara and Jim at their wedding rehearsal, when suddenly the priest is revealed to be Penguin, and the guests Arkham asylum patients. Barbara starts coughing up birds and freaking out, before she wakes up. It was all a dream! Not a dream: the pile of whips and floggers that litter the bed. I guess Tabitha isn’t one for cleaning up.

bar1bar2

Barbara walks herself into the GCPD, surrendering to Gordon. In the interrogation room, she teases him, claiming that she’s a bad girl that needs to be punished (wink wink). Gordon makes a power move and kisses her, much to Lee’s chagrin. Barbara starts weeping and tells him she loves him—s well as telling him there’s a surprise waiting at an undisclosed location. It’s clearly a trap, but Gordon doesn’t care. He also keeps cradling her face in this creepy way. Honestly, the whole scene was gross.

Said trap leads to Gordon, Bullock, and Barbara getting T-boned by a mack truck. Gordon wakes up in the church where they were going to get married, to find Barbara decked out in her wedding dress. This is frustrating on so many levels—it’s like the Gotham writers got together and brainstormed the scariest woman they could come up with, and some guy just yelled “bridezilla!” and then they all laughed and did a pile of coke (I assume this is what happens in Hollywood. I live an innocent 10 miles away in Glendale.) On an unrelated note, that dress was fucking gorgeous.

barandtab

Anyways, Bridal Barbara has tied him to a wheelchair and is now wielding an antique handgun. She talks about releasing his inner dark side, and it’s debatable he even has one. Tabitha (dressed like a ninja) wheels out a kidnapped Lee, so Barbara can continue evil monologuing with a bigger audience. She also calls Lee “girlfriend” again, which makes me laugh every time. Barbara puts a knife to Lee’s throat and threatens to cut her face off (ex-girlfriends, am I right?) but Jim quickly saves her. Barbara yells at him to kill her, and even says “Do me!” Get it? Like, as in sex?

Jim chases Barbara up the stairs of the church, until he finds her in front of a stained glass rose window. She goes at him with a knife, and in the ensuing fight the rose window breaks. Barbara ends up hanging off the edge of the building by Jim’s hand. He tries to save her, but she tells him she loves him and lets go.

bar3bar4bar5

I’ll admit, I legit thought they were going to kill off Barbara. But instead, she gets taken away in an ambulance, in critical condition. I’m glad Barbara remains alive (for now) because Erin Richards brings some much needed camp and humor to the show. The only downside? I have to keep recapping this show. Sigh. No one said being a hero was easy.