Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (March 6, 2009)

“Even as a little girl with long blonde hair, I looked like one of the Hanson boys.”

Rachel Maddow about her childhood, on The View

Note: There are no spoilers about future episodes, just updates on what has already aired, but click here if you want to skip these updates and go directly to the next page.

Show/Episode: Nip/Tuck — FX, drama
What happened: Former Lesbian Liz married Christian, who discovered he’s not actually dying just as they were about to go on their honeymoon.
What else you need to know: This was the last episode of the season.

Show/Episode: Guiding Light — CBS, drama
What happened: Natalia confessed to Olivia that she slept with Frank, and was upset at her hypocrisy and worried about God’s judgment (because she doesn’t love Frank, and because she’s Catholic). Olivia tried to tell Natalia about her true feelings for her, but the two kept getting interrupted.

What else you need to know: Natalia’s a pool shark — who knew?

Show/Episode: Hell’s Kitchen — Fox, reality competition
What happened: Lesbian contestant L.A. survived another round, and actually got a compliment from Chef Ramsay.

Show/Episode: Emmerdale — drama, U.K.
What happened: Debbie was about to plead guilty to manslaughter for murdering Jasmine’s ex-boyfriend Shane, but at the last minute, Jasmine stormed into the court and admitted she had killed him, not Debbie. Debbie was charged with obstruction of justice and sentenced to 6 months in jail, while Jasmine got four years for manslaughter.
What else you need to know: There was a lot of crying, they both declared their love, and Jasmine told Debbie she would be okay.
Thanks to: AE reader Giveadid

Show/Episode: Skins — U.K, teen drama
What happened: Emily comes out to JJ by telling him “I want to have sex with girls,” and he inadvertently outs her to her twin sister Katie. At a nightclub, Naomi admitted to a supportive Effy that she’s confused about whether she’s gay or straight; Emily got drunk at the club and was rescued by her sister from Cook’s groping. Emily ended up having sex with JJ (who is desperate to lose his virginity) at the end of the episode, but made it clear it’s a “once-only charity event” (because she’s gay).

Show/Episode: The L Word — Showtime, drama
What happened: It was murder on the dance floor, as Alice figured out that Tasha and Jamie had feelings for each other, Jenny threatened to tell Tina about Bette’s supposed fling with Kelly, and Shane hooked up with Niki again. But Dylan’s back, so at least Helena is happy!
What else you need to know: for more details, read Scribegrrrl’s recap, and StuntDouble’s Facebook recap.

Show/Episode: All My Children — ABC, drama
What happened: Reese told Kendall and Zach she had no intention of using the secret she uncovered about Greenlee’s death against them, and that she felt compelled to prove herself to them. But Kendall accused her of stalking them and trying to get Zach back. Reese finally told Kendall to take some responsibility for trying to bring Reese down, and for killing Greenlee. Kendell told Zach to make Reese leave, so he tried, and when she resisted she landed on a glass table that put her in the hospital and left her blind (at least temporarily).
What else you need to know: They blinded her? Really? Well, at least it’s a change from the dead-or-pregnant fate that usually befalls lesbians on TV.

Show/Episode: Make Me a Supermodel — Bravo, reality competition
What happened: Bisexual model CJ escaped elimination, but barely, and judge Jenny Shimizu commented on a male model’s ass.
What else you need to know: Dara is now mini-capping the show for us on the blog; read her recap of the first episode here.

Show/Episode: Plus Belle La Vie — drama, France
What happened: Céline and Virginie are in a serious relationship, and Céline wants a baby but Virginie doesn’t. This week, Virginie explained the reason of her refusal to Céline: Some years ago, she was with a woman and they decided to have a child, but her pregnant partner has left her one month before the delivery for another woman, and she has never seen their little girl.

What else you need to know: the rights of the other parent in same-sex couples is currently a hot topic in France.
Thanks to: AE reader Dominique

Show/Episode: Verbotene Liebe (Forbidden Love) — Germany, drama
What happened: Sebastian was found alive, and while everyone else rejoiced, Carla remained composed. Stella confronted Carla about her lack of emotions, then apologized. Overcome by the week’s turmoil, Carla broke down in tears, prompting Stella to give her a long hug. Stella suggested that they get to know each other better to avoid future misunderstandings. Later, a giddy Carla told Sarah that she could barely keep from kissing Stella again after their hug, while Stella confessed to Olli that she has a crush on Charlie.
Thanks to: AE reader Annelies

That wraps up this week’s rundown of lesbian/bi women on TV — international readers, please email me at short rundowns of the lesbian/bi storylines on your favorite shows on Thursdays. Thanks!

— by Sarah Warn