“Once Upon A Time” recap (5.11): Shot to hell

Previously on Once Upon a Time, Ruby and Mulan decided to save themselves and ran far, far away from the nonsense, Hook remembered that Emma made him a Dark One to save his life and suddenly was super mad and super evil and called all the Dark Ones back from the depths of the Underworld.

We open the episode with a young boy on a ship calling out into the dark for his father. His father comes to tuck young Killian back into bed, telling him that we’re all braver than we think, and that he must choose what kind of man he will be. Killian’s father proves what kind of man he is by trading his young sons to some pirates and escaping via rowboat.

In present-day Storybrooke, Emma leads Team Charming to fight Hook once and for all.

OUAT 511-1“Save children and and your wives, so save our village and our lives! LET’S KILL THE BEAST!”

Regina is ready to fight, but Mary Margaret isn’t sure fighting the man Emma used to love is such a good idea. Emma’s with Regina on this though, as in most things. She says they need to stop Dark Hook, no matter what it takes.

Robin Hood and Regina pair off and are intercepted by Zelena, who wants the baby, so she can raise a wicked little munchkin. Regina says there’s no way they’d give custody to a rapist, but Zelena knows they’ll be dead soon and cackles as she disappears. Regina and Robin turn around to see two Dark Ones coming toward them.

And in fact, Dark Ones appear for Mary Margaret and David, and the Seven Dwarves too, appearing like Death Eaters and closing in like Dementors.

Nimue is the one who visits Henry, walking straight through him. Emma asks what this means, and Gold tells everyone they should now have a mark on their wrists. Charon, the captain of the ferry to the underworld, needs to take the same number of bodies back to the Underworld as he took out. But Charon doesn’t care about who precisely he takes, so the Dark Ones all just had to pass their ticket to hell on to some unsuspecting soul. If they don’t do something about it, the ferry will take them to the underworld by the time the moon is risen.

OUAT 511-2“Not the kind of ship we wanted to be on together, but okay.”

Gold says they can’t win, and even though he hasn’t been the most trustworthy in the past, most of Team Charming is willing to take this advice at face value. But Emma isn’t marked and is desperate to save her family.

The Dark Ones, with their cloaks of varying degree of sparkle, struts about the city ominously while their leader stands at the water’s edge. Regina finds him and calls him Killian, surprising him by not slinging one of her trademark insults at him.

OUAT 511-3“At this point, you’re stupid enough that your name suffices as an insult.”

Regina tries to talk to him, ex-villain to ex-villain, saying that just like she’s not the woman who asked him to kill her mother, he’s not the pirate who agreed to do it. But Hook magically grabs Regina by the throat and tells her to stop talking about that event they decided never to speak of again until it was convenient for the plot at hand.

We flash back to Captain Hook telling the Evil Queen he’ll kill her mother if she helps him get revenge on his crocodile. Regina has a test for him first though, something to make sure he’ll be up for the task. She smiles that wicked smile and leads him to his test.

OUAT 511-4Not even Evil Cleavage can save this episode.