“Pretty Little Liars” recap (6.11): Five Years Forward, Five Years Back

Over at Casa Montgomery, Aria gives Byron a book that her boyfriend Liam recommended. He asks if she’s seen Ezra at the Brew, and they allude to some tragedy that happened with him and Nicole (Emily’s Habitat friend) in South America. Later on, Aria meets Ezra at the Brew, and he tells her that revolutionaries stormed Habitat and kidnapped(or killed?) Nicole. He is, not surprisingly, devastated. I, not surprisingly, do not care.

unspecified-9No, I was only locked for weeks in a basement dungeon built of my nightmares, but please, let’s get back to your trauma.

Spencer gets home to find her mom in full campaign mode for state senator. Hastings in 2016, y’all. We find out that she was inspired by Spencer, who is now a lobbyist in D.C., or, as she calls it, keeping the government honest. Guys, Spencer basically accuses people of crimes FOR A LIVING NOW. Dreams really do come true.

Speaking of awkward run-ins with exes, Spencer finds Toby building a house single-handedly, because why not. We also find out that he and Caleb went fishing last summer, which is so BrokeBack Mountain I can’t even. He offers to buy her dinner, but she’s more interested in who he’s building that house for.

unspecified-10Caleb and I went fishing over the summer! We shared a tent and a bottle of lube.

unspecified-11Yeah, I figured as much.

The Liars gather in Ali’s classroom to reunite and listen to her pleas. Ali tells them that Charlotte is getting better, and she just wants to bring her home. She knows that the Liars have been called by the court to share their thoughts on Charlotte’s release, and she begs them to say they’re no longer scared of Charlotte. Guess who isn’t there supporting Charlotte? Jason DiLaurentis. The Liars tell Ali that they can’t forgive Charlotte for trying to murder them a million times, and Spencer is like, “we are too grown for this shit”. It’s pretty wild to see the Liars simultaneously reject Ali like this…like she’s lost the hold she had on them for all those years.

unspecified-12I swear Charlotte is all better now. She only wears pink hoodies!

The Liars gather later at a Veronica Hastings rally to discuss the fallout with Ali. Hanna makes the point that they are all living their happily ever afters while Charlotte has never known true freedom or a normal life. Right then, Mona Fucking Vanderwaal rolls up to Spencer. Oh, Mona, how we missed you!

unspecified-13You didn’t see me at the Kennedy Center Honors? I was sitting on the president’s lap

Mona asks Spencer if she still has nightmares because she’s been through shrinks and meds and still has post-doll house trauma. Before Spencer can respond, she’s called up to the podium to speak for her mother.

Later that night, Toby and Emily hang out and have a beer. Toby talks falling out of sync with Spencer while Emily discusses falling out of sync with the world when her father died. Guys, Nihilistic No Fucks to Give Emily is pretty hot, not gonna lie.

unspecified-14You wanna smoke some Gak and knock over the Brew?

The next day, we see a montage of Charlotte’s hearing: Ali begs the judge to bring the missing piece of her family home. Hanna, Spencer, and Emily LIE their asses off and say they are no longer afraid of Charlotte. But Aria? Aria did NOT come to play. As she sits in front of the judge, she has PTSD flashbacks of the Doll House. She tells the judge about a panic attack she had on the subway, and that she does not feel safe with Charlotte free. Four snaps for you, Aria. Also, Ezra walks in, as if people can just wander off the street into private hearings.

unspecified-15That reminds me, your honor, what is the statute of limitations on this whole Ezria thing?

Finally, it’s Mona’s turn: she tells the court that she wants to hate Charlotte, but as a former Radley resident herself, she knows how twisted the place can be. Mona for Team Charlotte, who knew? She leaves in tears.