“Pretty Little Liars” recap (6.13): Tossed Spaleb and Scrambled Eggs

Spencer swings by Hanna’s place to find Hanna researching munchkin cats for her boss. You know, work. We also find out that Hana’s ringtone for Jordan is “Let’s Get Physical,” which is TMI Hanna. When Spencer starts asking her about Caleb, the penny drops, and Hanna realizes that Spencer caught feels for her hobo. Spencer assures her that nothing happened (not even in Spain!), and Hanna tells Spencer to find out if Caleb reciprocates her feels. It’s all very grown up and mature, but we’ll see how long that lasts.

The next day, Aria is trying to build Ezra’s writing confidence, but he’s really committed to the brooding alcoholic thing and blows her off. So many shades of Ezra, all equally insufferable! Spencer finds out from the baby journalist that Mona Vanderwaal applied to work on her mom’s campaign but was turned away…and now she’s campaigning for her opponent! Spencer and Mona facing off in the political octagon? Yes, please.

pll-54You don’t call Mona. Just whisper her name into the wind and she’ll magically appear.

Remember how I said Hanna was all mature and shit about Spaleb? Whelp, now she’s wearing a bathrobe as clothes and eating frozen orange juice concentrate out of a can OUT OF THE GARBAGE. Aria skypes with her shirtless boyfriend, who tells her that the editor is ready to drop Ezra’s drunk, pretentious ass. What does Aria do? Ghostwrite Ezra’s novel, that’s what. UGH GIRL WHAT EVEN IS HAPPENING.

pll-58Can’t a girl just eat frozen juice in a bathrobe and heels without it being weird?!

pll-57

Emily sneaks off to the bathroom, and Hanna spies her injecting something into her leg. She immediately confronts her, and Emily comes clean: she dropped out of college, blew through her dad’s money, and is now selling her eggs. Hanna offers to loan her money, but Emily assures her that she feels good about the donation, and is excited to help a couple in need. Remember the time Emily danced her way into a pageant to help Hanna pay for college? Hanily is ride or die.

pll-64 At the end of her rope, Emily is now freebasing a better storyline

pll-65Very concerned but also very turned on

While Hanna is a great friend, she is probably the worst at making up alibis. Lorenzo calls her and Lucas into the interrogation room, where their hastily thrown together lie is quickly picked apart by Lorenzo. Sidebar: what ever happened to Tanner? Did she get fired? Is Lorenzo the chief of police? Is Toby even a cop anymore? Also, Lucas’s entire alibi rests on him hoping to get lucky with Hanna when she was drunk, which, gross.