Previously on Rizzoli & Isles: Whoa, do you know five months have passed since we last saw our favorite crime fighters? That’s almost half a year without a “Rizzoli” or an “Isles.” I feel positively disoriented. So in case you’ve forgotten, Jane is being stalked, hacked and arson-ed by a mystery person with a serious grudge. And then said person does the worst thing you could possibly do to Det. Jane Rizzoli–hurt Dr. Maura Isles.
So Maura has been lured to a fake crime scene, ambushed and kidnapped. I’ve said it once, and I’ve said it before, putting Maura Isles in danger is the Rizzoli & Isles equivalent of putting Willow Rosenberg from Buffy the Vampire Slayer in danger–automatic fandom heart attack. It is also an automatic Jane Rizzoli heart attack.
Jane is pacing and panicking because it’s obvious whoever attacked Maura only wanted Maura. She spots Maura’s phone on the ground and checks the recent calls log. Two things 1) More than half the calls are from Jane and 2) Jane knows Maura’s password. None of this should be surprising to anyone, but still it’s–you know–telling.
Jane blames herself for Maura’s abduction because she was focused on protecting Mama Rizzoli. Ah, it’s the old “which loved one is in danger” bait-and-switch. Your mother, your girlfriend; your mother, your girlfriend. Korsak tries to calm Jane down by saying Maura is “strong, smart and capable” and will do her part. All this is true, but you try staying rational when the love of your life is in grave danger. Yeah, not so easy.
So, what happened to Boris? Is he just gone now? Did he quit as Jane’s bodyguard after declaring her the worst client ever? I think we could all use some of his chocolate chip cookies right now. Also, a nap, as everyone keeps reminding Jane about her lack of sleep. You know when people are trying to be nice and say, “Honey, you look tired,” but what they’re really saying is, “Girl, you look like shit?” Yeah, it’s like that.
The team is working two leads: One the dispatch call that came in to Maura’s phone, which makes the kidnapping seem like an inside job, and two, the murdered butterfly tattoo lady who was on Jane’s arson video. Meanwhile, Mama R is doing the most important work of all: making everyone their favorite sandwiches with their names handwritten on the brown paper bags. Bless.
You know if Maura were there, she would have made her some sort of kale and quinoa salad, because that’s the sort of individualized care she puts into the people she loves. Before leaving Mama R tells Jane how she never realized, after all these years of worrying about the dangers of Jane’s job, that she also had to worry about the dangers of Maura’s job, too. See, now that’s a great mother-in-law. Like I was saying, bless.