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“Younger” recap (2.7): Into the Woods and Out of the Woods

Maggie, Lauren, and Liza are all out for the night in support of Josh’s bluegrass band. The bar is popping. There’s a festival on the horizon-a weekend-long bluegrass and craft beer type festival, and it’s somewhere in the woods, and Josh’s band is playing.

Maggie and Lauren would love to stay around to chat, but apparently Lauren just spotted Iris-a woman she “dated for 11 weeks” sitting in a nearby booth. Maggie looks slightly distressed, but the scene cuts right before we can get to the good stuff. It’s a total mystery how Maggie handled the meeting of Lauren’s ex. Frankly, I bet she grabbed Lauren’s ass and gave Iris a big smile. Maggie has a lot of guts and confidence. She knows her exes are out there-like the one she recently found on Facebook.

In the “Jade Crusade,” Maggie finds Belinda, a former heartbreaker from her past. She’s married to David now-lest we forget their family photo featuring lots of denim and a sorry log. (p.s. Belinda and Iris are way awesome lesbian ex-girlfriend names. They could be in a band, like Heart.) Maggie seems more hip to this idea that she and Lauren should be exclusive. Their PDA says it all. The big question is: Will we see more from Lauren’s ex?

Diana Trout and the Male Feminist are still doing their thing. Kelsey finds Diana prepping in the bathroom and unzips her jacket a little-to give her some kind of “be sexier” push. Diana blushes and laughs it off. But when that bathroom door slams, she rips the whole jacket off. Oh! Dirty Diana. Hugh Shirley is a piece of work. He wants to make out with Diana, but he also wants to make sure he isn’t “dominating” her. Though, with every breath he takes, with each word that comes out of his mouth, “dominating” seems like the least accurate word. Shirley is a complete moron.

They’re discussing the book-it’ll go to Blue Stockings downtown, which Diana says is “pretty much home base for lesbians and social workers-same thing.” She likens the book’s market to the Pacific Northwest, or really “anywhere there’s a vegan market.” Diana seems to think all queers are vegans, but we’ll let this one slide.

Shirley asks Diana to lunch-but it’s crazy how backwards he sounds: “I swear I’ll make you pay for half.” But he doesn’t want to dominate her. Diana sits by, silently observing. For someone who tends to leave flirtatious situations with a sad trombone, it seems like Diana is sort of turned on by how inappropriately off base he is.

Then they have sex, and she breaks his dick. When they get to the hospital, he wants nothing to do with her and yells at the nurses, “Get her out of here!!!!!!” like he’s going into labor.

Liza shows up at the festival, and it’s exactly how a festival is-loads of tents, no cell phone reception, beer, loud music, shitting in the woods and being cold. Charles begins a series of calls and texts to Liza because he can’t come up with a book from his childhood for the New York Times piece he’ll be featured in. Seriously? Liza puts on her worker-bee face and lends all the right answers to Charles, who stands around beaming with satisfaction.

Josh is bumping around the festival in his suede hat and jacket like he’s a cowboy, but he can tell Liza isn’t impressed. After all, his roommate is throwing a total fit and can’t rough it out here, and they have zero privacy. By morning, there’s no coffee, the porta potties are filled, and Josh is about to do his set. Liza accidentally sexts Charles instead of Josh sitting there on stage, apparently not concerned in his band’s sound check. Then her phone dies, because, that’s life. Charles is left wondering WTF, and Liza has to book it to a phone charger ASAP.

Meanwhile, Diana Trout is hearing all about her apparent “male energy” from Hugh Shirley. He calls her “stoic, yet brave-deeply vulnerable.” He admits he normally hates a woman with male energy. The Male Feminist, everyone! Give him a round of applause. He’s so good at telling women what they are. He’s clearly in the right line of work.

Liza needs all the moonshine she can get, but it won’t be enough. Before she can even charge her phone, a crazy festivalgoer swipes her charger from her and Liza “hip checks” her. She promptly gets kicked out of the festival. Now that’s bad ass. Screw this bluegrass fest-Charles said there’s a great B&B. Josh finds Liza outside of the gates because he’s marvelously great at locating Liza at almost any time during this giant, chaotic, muddy festival. She convinces him to leave, and they ditch their wet tent for clean towels and bathrobes.

Sure, it was fun to see Liza and Josh rough it out in the woods for a night, but sometimes when a show changes up its scenery, we get distracted and confused. We missed out on Maggie, Lauren and whatever the hell Kelsey has been up to.

Tune in every Wednesday night on TV Land for new episodes of Younger, and follow me on Twitter @the_hoff.

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