“Pretty Little Liars” recap (6.18): Sick Burn, Aria

Last night on Pretty Little Liars, Aria was turned into a human s’more. But I’m getting ahead of myself. We open with Hanna and Emily helping Aria clean up after her parents’ wedding. Aria ended up marrying Rollins and Ali, which is a sound decision that will surely have no adverse repercussions. Hanna eats leftover cake while Emily stews over Melissa.

pretty-1Hanna claims to be okay with Spaleb, but she’s eating day-old cake and wearing a “Designing Women” sweater

When Aria goes through the photos she took, she finds a series of pics from A, threatening her to come up with the killer by election night or they’ll all lose! DUN DUN DUN. Again, I feel like this A would be much more efficient if they put their omnipresent resources towards finding Charlotte’s killer, as opposed to outsourcing it to the Liars who, frankly, are the worst detectives on the planet. This new A is garbage, is what I’m saying. 

pretty-6How to make those bitches know I’m serious…underline the “you.” YES, NAILED IT!

Anyhoo, Spencer is busy being read the riot act by her dad, who finally decides to show the fuck up for his wife’s election. He tells her to dump Caleb and distance herself from the scandal. Also, Spencer is wearing this crazy patterned suit that legit makes her look like a Heather. All she needs is a croquet mallet, and she’s good to go. While her dad talks, Spencer flashes back to her dorm room, where she and Toby are sitting sadly together. I think we’re getting the Spoby breakup story, y’all.

pretty-7great pâté, but I better motor if I’m gonna make it to this funeral on time

Meanwhile, Ashley is throwing Hanna a bridal shower, and Hanna is the opposite of excited. Ali can’t come, and when Ashley suggests she invite Mona, Hanna rolls her eyes. Basically, Ashley is trying to make the best of things, but Hanna’s not having it.

pretty-11What if the party theme was “bitch on the loose”?