“Pretty Little Liars” recap (6.19): “Bitch Can Drive”

Welcome to this week’s recap of Pretty Little Liars, the show that keeps trying to make Sara Harvey happen. She’s not going to happen. 

We pick up right where we left off, with Mona telling Emily that she called Charlotte from the Counting Crows diner and asked to meet up. Apparently Mona wanted some face time with Charlotte to suss out her post-release plans: would she spill everyone’s secrets? Would she seek bloody revenge? Would she finally go on that Birthright Israel trip she’s been putting off? Mona never got any answers, because Charlotte never showed.

li-1Why would Charlotte choose Israel Outdoors? She hates white water rafting!

li-2Because she wants to ride a camel through the Bedouin desert, you bitch!

Emily shares this info with Spencer and Aria, who is now sporting the tiniest, most fashionable bandage on her burned arm. Spencer also calls Mona “free range,” like she’s a delicious chicken instead of a delicious goddess.

li-5Spencer has more to say, but the cognitive dissonance of Aria’s shirt/skirt combo is hurting her brain

Hanna is with Lucas, who is troubleshooting his murder loft. Jordan wants her to return to New York because plot tension, but Hanna needs to stay in Rosewood to keep an eye on her BBQ’d friends. She also brought Lucas some ties and matching instructions, which is for real what I wish someone would do with my entire closet. I dress like a colorblind 13-year-old boy. Lucas tells Hanna he’s investing his billions in Rosewood by buying up some abandoned ice cream/mask factories on the edge of town.