“Pretty Little Liars” recap (6.20): Hetero Sex and Ghost Moms

Whelp, last night was the Season 6 finale of Pretty Little Liars, where we found out that someone we all thought was an evil white dude is, in fact, an evil BRITISH white dude…DUN DUN DUN! There were plenty more twists afoot, the most surprising of which was that, after 10 episodes of skulking around in glitter tops and eating fried chicken with gloves on, Sara Fucking Harvey was nowhere to be seen. Or was she everywhere to be seen? Guys, I give up.

We pick up where we left off last week, with the Liars waiting for EmojA to text Hanna back. EmojA threatens to gun emoji her if she’s lying, but Hanna assures them she killed Charlotte and asks for one more day to get her affairs in order before EmojA kills her. I hope this last day involves cake and wine.

lil-7I need this emoji for when I don’t want extra bacon JK I ALWAYS WANT EXTRA BACON

Ali is recuperating on the couch while Rollins fusses about over his Chicago conference. Ali still feels responsible for Charlotte’s death, and thanks Rollins for helping her sister. We also find out that Jason is now running the Carassimi Group, and using Charlotte’s genius-made millions to help people.

lil-10This legit looks like a Ted Cruz campaign ad

Toby and Spencer get together to pour over the Radley blueprints, and Toby now wears glasses because everyone on this show is in their 40’s. They reminisce over French lessons and their hands touch, and Spoby feels flood the scene. Toby finds a secret room on the Radley blueprints, and he and Spencer plan to break into the room together. I’m sure Yvonne will be thrilled about that.

Meanwhile, Emily swings by Caleb’s place to drop off a bag of supplies and a generator. Caleb’s grand plan is to rig an electric fence around the Lost Woods Resort (ugh remember the times?!) to capture and electrocute EmojA. I’m dubious: the only person they ever successfully electrocuted was Sara Harvey’s hands, and that was an accident.

lil-12You leave Rosewood for five years and it stops raining lesbians. WTF, right bro?

Aria and Ezra are working on their novel, and Ezra has finished his final chapter. He’s in tears, feeling all his man pain because now that Nicole has been memorialized in his book and is officially really totally dead. Aria holds his hand and pats his head, because man feelings are real and SOME OF US HAVE REAL PROBLEMS, EMILY.