Claire is the voiceover intro/outro this week and about time, too, because Joan Allen has been slaying in this role, as she pretty much always does. We pan over debris and broken furniture and blood on the floor of a house. “If they cut you open,” Claire asks, “what would they find? Feathers or steel?” Claire leaves you no doubt that she’s filled to the brim with steel.
It’s eight years ago, and sad Christmas music is playing while Claire is visiting Hank in prison. No, she’s not on his list. She’s the friggin’ mayor. She just wants to know where Adam’s body is so she can have a funeral. Hank says he can’t help with that. (Because he didn’t murder Adam, except if Maybe-Adam isn’t Adam, then maybe he did.)
Present-day Hank wakes up. A window is smashed. He checks outside and sees “Monster” spray-painted on his garage door.
Willa comes home with armloads of papers from way out of state that are covering the Maine Governor’s race. OK, sure. Danny walks into breakfast with Bad Reporter, who the family is shocked to see he’s been sexing up. Really? He was living in a motel with Bad Slutty Ladies like a week and a half ago. Danny helpfully clarifies that Bad Reporter is not a hooker. She says yes to waffles, to the delight and comfort of no one. Dude.
Across the street, Maybe-Adam apologizes to Hank, who is scrubbing his garage even though it won’t come off. Maybe-Adam picks up a sponge that won’t be doing a damn thing because it has no rough side. Claire and John come out and are all what the hell, just build another ship in a bottle for chrissakes. Hank asks Maybe-Adam to please, please go.
Agent Clements approaches the ever-awesome Detective Nina Meyer. An eight-year-old boy was just snatched in a public park, with the same M.O. as Adam’s kidnapping. We’re looking for a white male in a white van. It’s on.
We learn that Craggy Man is named Doug, and his pregnant wife is setting up what looks like one of those themed yard parties the Brady Bunch used to throw. She can’t believe Doug is so late and wouldn’t answer his phone. Also? Doug has a secret trap door in the floor of his shed. Well, that can’t be good.
Meyer and Clements wonder if it’s a copycat or the same kidnapper looking for a replacement Adam. Doug gets a shovel.
Eight years ago, Claire is pissed off and wants a funeral for Adam, but not an empty coffin. She snarls at John about his damn grief book and he’s frustrated at her for not moving on.
Today, Willa brings Claire up the steps of the Governor’s Mansion. Willa says Claire won’t politicize the new boy’s disappearance and then Claire around to do exactly that, but real subtle Mama Bear-like. Governor Lang, the guy Claire is challenging, reassures an aide that sex offenders and microchips won’t fly for too long. The aide is all “Dude, you are toast. Old, dry, stale toast.”
Claire turns to the cameras to address the kidnapper directly and suddenly she’s all badass and is like I WILL FIND YOU and basically delivers Liam Neeson’s speech from Taken, only scarier.
Governor Lang enters what is supposed to be his own press conference, and no one is there because all the reporters are writing Claire’s initials + their initials on their notebooks with hearts around them.