“The Fosters” recap (3.20): Secrets, secrets hurt someone

Fosters 3206Mrs. Figg will confirm my story. It was a dementor.

Monte is telling her side of the story to the Wizengamut. Sally kissed her, and she didn’t want the girl to feel bad, so she didn’t report it. Sally comes in with her mom, Lucius Malfoy, and says she kissed Monte because Monte promised her a recommendation to Brown if Sally got all lesbionic with her. When Lena protests, Sally’s mom says that Lena is an out lesbian (like that’s a bad thing) who is covering for Monte because they are doing it. Some wizarding families are better than others, Potter.

Brandon and Cortney are in bed at her place. Happy birthday, Brandon. Eddie walks in, flips out, and kicks Cortney out of their apartment. Truly, sleeping with Brandon will ruin your damn life. When Cortney goes to the ATM to get her money, she finds out that Eddie took it all. Oh right, they are still legally married, so what’s hers is his. Brandon, get the hell out of this mess.

Fosters 3207Did Aaron Sorkin write this episode?

Lena is filling Monte in on the do’s and don’ts of being a teacher. Don’t flirt with students in your car or off campus, or maybe just don’t flirt with them at all. Monte better fix this and she better do it now.

Fosters 3208CLEXA! I cannot defend you if you keep up with this Bellarke bullshit!

Detective Sexy Haircut is wearing her glasses, and she’s figured out how Jack ended up in a terrible home. She explains it to Callie and even Callie, whose bullshit meter is broken, can tell it’s a scam. She asks if the CEO’s of companies can be held accountable. Stef, who has seen The Big Short, tells her they never do. They can destroy the world economy and ruin lives and get off scot free.

Fosters 3209Would you care to explain this Ezria fanfic I found on your computer, young lady?