“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (7.01): Things that go bump on the head

Back in the office, everyone is on full alert. They all know Alice Sands (a.k.a. Special Agent Monica Reyes a.k.a. Dr. Anne Sullivan a.k.a. Annabeth Gish) is behind the shooting, but they just need that pesky proof.

Maura comes in grasping at scientific straws in an effort to find said evidence. But then, as she’s talking about sending something away for DNA testing, she stops mid-sentence while explaining and says, “call an ambulance.” Then she hits the floor like an elegant sack of potatoes.


Guess all a gal had to do to finally fully get her girlfriend’s attention is lose consciousness in the middle of the office. As Maura emerges from her check-up at the hospital, Jane spring into action again hectoring the doctor with questions. Maura gives her girlfriend full doctor-patient privilege, because that’s what you do for the person you love.

The doc says Maura needs a CT scan. Jane is like, good, I’ll carry her there. But the appointment isn’t until “later.” Until then the doc says Maura needs rest and “limited physical and mental activity.” So, you guessed it; tantra is out of the question.


Jane takes it all in and says, “OK, I’m taking you home.” Like, I didn’t write that. They did. I just report the facts as I receive them. But Maura says she’d rather go back to the office since tantric fun is off the table anyway. Plus, she says that way Jane can keep a closer eye on her. See, nothing said Jane couldn’t enjoy “physical and mental activity” while watching Maura. Ahem.

Jane agrees and then offers to put her girlfriend in handcuffs to make sure she obeys the doctor’s orders. Again, I just report the facts.


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