“Orange is the New Black” recap (4.3): Assuming Makes an Ass…

Overcrowding has turned custodial into an endless task and Lorna has forever glued James Franco to the myth of Sisyphus when she and Suzanne mix background references on self-inflicted sacrifices. Something wild must have sparked Lorna’s obsessive notions about marriage and fidelity—I suspect that will be a flashback later. 

Taystee is called to the Warden’s office and instead of what everyone assumed was punishment, she’s given a sick promotion. Answering phones and filing instead of mopping the hallway for eternity. This is definitely a security issue though Taystee assures Caputo that she is not going full Shawshank. 

Mail Attachment 4“Finally, ‘A Dance With Dragons’ is in the library.”

Lolli is concerned about Judy King’s personal Litchfield tour in the garden. Vause counters with a calming method of handling the situation and gives her a healing mantra. While it’s full of truth—knowing a body is in the garden, of a prison—she’s kind of right to be freaking the hell out. 

Healy is making creepy fertilizing jokes in the garden, and Red’s jealousy is showing. The Russian matriarch asserts her dominance, but King shouldn’t be underestimated in the ways of the tongue. 

Piper is playing baby mafia but she’s only got her oft-reluctant roommate, and her weakness is showing. It amplifies when a couple of her employees become former. Piper is textbook, and it would be hilarious were she not entirely serious. 

Poussey defies every soft butch/stem stereotype by being the worst basketball player ever. Butch Daddy Boo and the other masculine of center women kick the tiny queers off the court, and it’s just like high school except I have a sick jump shot. Label talk is interesting when both people are on different levels of understanding as far as self-identity. Do NOT ever in your life; use the n-word or any variation of it when speaking with or about your Black partner if you are not Black. Poussey is a pacifist, and her reaction is very mild. Her adorable spikes when she loses it in front of her idol Judy King. 

OPen gym“We’re always looking for more water girls.”

Soso the activist gets a flashback to her days as a young petitioner getting door-to-door lessons. Her very gross ex-boyfriend is every creepy guy on the Internet. He challenges her to petition a registered sex offender after comparing her to a young Asian boy, sounding like the comment section on YouTube. 

Caputo is really going wear this suit as much as possible, for $1100 I don’t blame him, though I hope he knows to get it cleaned occasionally. He looks like the type to forget a thing like that. This is vaguely reminiscent of Hillary making that “colored people” time joke—given the recent photo of the writers’ room, that is. Taystee reminds him that he’s a boss and the meeting don’t start till he walks in. 

Piscatella has some authority issues. Pulling new CO’s specifically with armed forces backgrounds is an interesting shift from the mostly incompetent former staff pre-walkout. Does the criminal justice system really allow the incarcerated to build things like this with little to no instruction? Caputo is doing that creepy thing again, which is generally his life.