“Orange is the New Black” recap (4.9): Playing with Power

Morello’s sister visits her and tells her that she’s been spending time getting to know Vinny as she asked. Morello’s crazy starts creeping in, and she accuses her sister of fooling around with her man. God, sometimes I forget that Morello is a broken little bird.

Blanca tells her friends that they can avoid frisks by smelling bad, but no one wants to stop showering, so they start putting tuna behind their ears and hot sauce in their hair. Maria is pissed that Maritza outed Alonso to the guards, but Maritza tells her it was her ass on the line. Besides, she saved Maria, and she’s not even Dominican. Maria backs down and cuts her loose from the business.

Piper and Alex argue over who is going to give Bayley a handy. Alex thinks it should be Piper since she’s “straight” (will anyone on this show every say the word bisexual out loud?) but Piper is pretty sure Alex knows her way around a penis. Piper apologizes to Alex for not believing her/all of season three, and they agree that they could both use a week without shame and debasement. Later, they share a spam sandwich and the remaining scraps of their dignity.

or6We can’t get burgers, but at least we can give each other handjobs!

Tovah and Watson hang out in Judy King’s private room, where Judy makes them tea and tells them about the time she got high and made out with Nigella Lawson, aka my dream date. Yoga Jones is worried that they’ll steal stuff, but Judy doesn’t care. Petty is not a good look on you, Jones.

Red fins Nicky puking in the shower, and helps her clean herself up. Nicky expects her to kick her out of the family, but Red tried that with Tricia, and she died. Red bursts into tears and apologizes to Nicky for failing her. She begs to know what she can do, and they both cry. We’re used to our moms being annoyed, being mad, even being furious with us. But there is nothing like the pain of seeing your mother cry. It’s a sobering (no pun intended) moment for Nicky, who tells Red that she’s going to get clean.

We FLASHBACK to Millie, who is asleep in her room when a noise jolts her awake. She opens her eyes and sees Blanca and Dario fucking furiously on her sofa, while Blanca makes eye contact. Millie is horrified, as Blanca laughs in defiance. The next morning, Blanca brings her microwaved coffee and opens the blinds, but Millie doesn’t complain. Blanca made a power move and now has the upper hand.

or7Breakfast in bed, with a side of GO FUCK YOURSELF

A guard grabs Blanca and forces her to stand on the cafeteria table as punishment until she takes a shower. Blanca stands up, and everyone watches her. The other guards realize that she could stand there all day, making them look bad. Back at the guard cabins, Humps forces Maritza into his cabin, where he’s laid out ten dead flies and a baby mouse. He tells her to eat the mouse, and she refuses since he has nothing on her. Humps holds a gun to her head and demands she eat the mouse. After every hideous thing, the guards have forced on the inmates of Litchfield, this is truly disgusting and haunting. Poor Maritza. I never thought I’d see the day where we miss Pornstache, but that day is here.

or8Damn the man, save the empire, bitches

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