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“Orange is the New Black” recap (4.11): The Night is Dark and Full of Terrors

Episode 4.11 picks up the morning after Piper joins Blanca on top of the table. Blanca is still standing, while Piper is asleep in a squatting position. Nicky and Norma bring her water, and she denies it at first but then eagerly drinks it. Maria calls it out as unfair since they aren’t allowed to do the same for Blanca. Suddenly, the alarm goes off, and the prison is put on lockdown: they’ve found the dead body in the garden.

The bad news is there’s a body in the garden. The good news is you can pee in this Dixie cup

As news spreads of the dead guard, everyone reacts differently. Piper and Alex are panicked until Red tells them to shut up and calm down. Healy, floored with the realization that Lolly was telling the truth, wanders out of the prison and drives off. Suzanne wonders if they’ll get a second dinner, Hobbit style. Maureen tries to talk to her, but Taystee tells her to ignore the crazy bitch who gave her “blue labes” and to give Maureen some space.

We FLASHBACK to Suzanne at 28, who works at a Superstore as a greeter. Suzanne is good at her job, eager to please, and friendly with all the customers, particularly a family of three boys. Everyone seems to accept her for who she is, and Suzanne is awarded Employee of the Month. She’s delighted and checks off the receipt for a man buying some toothpaste and an AR-15 assault rifle. I see what you did there, Orange.

Sunny D and Machines of War: America!

Caputo tries to calm the guards, who are freaking out over the dead body. They are horrified that Caputo is waiting for the Feds and leaving them for the night, despite the fact that they’ve been guarding criminals for a while now. Caputo warns them against going rogue, but as soon as he’s gone, Piscatella has them rounding up inmates for questioning. Coates tries to dissuade him, but is put on corpse duty instead. Luschek is sent to keep an eye on Judy King, and he’s not pleased.

Red and Frida meet up with Piper and Alex, and they discuss keeping quiet while under interrogation. There’s nothing pinning them to the murder, so if they can just keep their cool, they’ll be fine. Red feels confident that they won’t get called for questioning. Although Frida might, since she killed four men in one year. They look at Lolly wandering around and decide not to include her.

The game is UNO, ladies. Prepare to get served.

Judy convinces Luschek to do Molly with her, because this broad likes to party. I know folks have mixed feelings about Judy King, but it’s refreshing to see an older woman with sexual confidence and drive. This leads to Judy, Yoga Jones, and Luschek tripping out and feeling up bed sheets on the floor. Yoga has a spiritual epiphany about Judy and calls her out for being manipulative and using people. Yoga also laments her fall from spirituality and feels like she’s sold her soul for a Soda Stream and a private room. Judy tries to comfort her, which leads to them making out, which leads to a sweaty Molly threesome with Luschek. I have a feeling two out of three of you will regret this in the morning.

Coachella: Litchfield Edition

Red gets called in for questioning, along with Suzanne and Maureen. Frida is pissed that she wasn’t considered dangerous, considering she shot a cop with his own gun, but then forgets if she got caught for that or not. I am dying for a Frida flashback episode in season 5. Taystee wants to know what they want with Suzanne, but Dixon (thinking he’s down or something) tries to blow her off by calling her an offensive slur. DUDE STOP. As a fellow white person, I urge you to not be a flaming trash fire of a human. He finishes up by stomping on Taystee’s watch. Great work, everyone.

It’s okay everyone: I took a learning annex course in jive talking!

We FLASHBACK to Suzanne coming home from work to her sister Grace and Grace’s boyfriend Brad. They are going away for a romantic weekend, but Suzanne panics at the thought of being left alone. Grace assures her everything will be fine, and she needs a break from spending every weekend with Suzanne. We then see Suzanne in the park, trying to greet people like she’s at work. She sees Dylan, one of the kids from the store, and invites him over for popsicles and video games. While Suzanne may be like a child developmentally, she is physically an adult, which makes this playdate an unintentional kidnapping.

Healy wanders aimlessly around town, ignoring the calls from work. He gets an ice cream, leaves his ex-wife a sad voice mail, saying he doesn’t think he’s good at his job. No shit, buddy. Healy walks into a lake fully clothed, and he’s up to his shoulders when he hears his phone ringing from the shore. He snaps back to reality and heads back to work.

Healy’s pulling a Virginia Woolf

Back at Litchfield, Nicky is going through withdrawal, with all the accompanying sweats, shakes, and pukes. Pennsatucky wanders into her cube and recognizes the symptoms, so she brings her woven basket for Nicky to puke into. Tucky takes care of her and provides a much-needed distraction, and Nicky realizes that she may be the only person on earth who actually improved herself in prison.

At MCC headquarters, Caputo meets with Josh, the PR rep, to prep him on what to tell the Feds. Caputo is horrified that they don’t care about the inmates, although he shouldn’t be surprised. His boss, Jack, leaves the office, and gets confronted by Crystal and Danny in the parking lot. They show him the photo of Sophia in SHU and blackmail him into releasing her back into gen pop. Once Caputo is done, he meets Linda in the lobby, and she’s miffed that she wasn’t given the heads up. Caputo wants to return to the prison, but she convinces him to blow it off and go home with her. We also find out that Linda has never been to Litchfield, nor any other prison. Gross.

Look, I’ve watched PLENTY of lesbian porn. I think I know what goes on in prison

The inmates pulled for questioning are sitting in a room, stewing. Maureen tries talking to Suzanne, who is still trying to give her space. Maureen tells her that she sucks at reading people, and Suzanne agrees. Piscatella brings in Red for questioning, but she stonewalls him like the Russian gangster she is. Red has the upper hand, until the guards find the stolen gardening keys in her office. Well, shit. Piscatella punishes her with sleep deprivation, and Red calls him out on his bullshit torture tactics. We also find out that, when Red was arrested, they found several bodies chopped up in her freezer.

Alex continues to spiral out, while Piper tries to keep her calm. They discuss fucking the pain away, but Alex would rather deal with the situation than distract from it. Lolly pulls her aside and asks if the murder was real or a delusion, and Alex is fresh out of delusions. She tells Lolly that it was real, and she saved her life.

have reached a breaking point. A Point Break, if you will

Humps and the other guards continue tormenting the inmates, by knocking them to the floor while they sleep and not allowing them to use the bathroom. A frustrated Sankey is pissed that Suzanne laughed at her fall (along with everyone else), and Humps tries to goad them into a fight. Both women refuse, until Maureen volunteers to fight Suzanne.

We FLASHBACK to Suzanne and Dylan playing video games in her apartment. When Dylan tells her that he has to go home, Suzanne freaks out and urges him to stay. While Suzanne goes through her collection of capes, Dylan calls 911 and she screams at him. He runs out onto the fire escape, and Suzanne tries to stop him. Dylan falls over the edge, and he’s gone. It’s a dark turn of events, and now we know why Suzanne is in Litchfield.

Maureen goads Suzanne until she breaks, and starts wailing on her. Suzanne beats the shit out of Maureen before she’s restrained by the other inmates. Suzanne bursts into tears, and it’s a heartbreaking scene. A heartbreaking life.

Oh, Pipes, we like you so much more when you’re unconscious

Alex sneaks out of bed, but not before tucking Piper in. She’s ready to confess the truth to the guard, but it’s too late: Healy, soaking wet, has already given up Lolly to Piscatella. When the guards can’t find her, he leads them to the time machine, where Lolly is desperately trying to time travel. Healy walks her into the psych ward and cries as they take her away. So long, Lolly.

You know it’s a dark timeline when even Red is broken]

This has been a very dark, very tragic season of OITNB, and the worst is still to come. The final two episodes will be recapped by Veronica Rose, and I look forward to reading them. In the meantime, I recommend Lindsay King-Miller‘s article on why she’s not watching Season 4.

There are many think pieces out right now about the finale. People are angry and heartbroken, and I’m one of them. Will I watch Season 5? I will, but I feel like the events of the finale aren’t something this show can bounce back from. Wherever Orange is the New Black goes from here, it’s been altered to the core.

Thanks for sticking around Oranginas, and I’ll see you all next year! Tweet me your finale feels @ChelseaProcrast and take care of yourselves.

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