“The Fosters” recap (4.4): Time Goes By So Slowly

Previously on The Fosters, Callie thought Stef and Lena were going to reverse her adoption, so she punched a dude, ran off with a stranger, pretended to be someone else, and kissed a guy on a motorcycle. Basically Callie 101. Jesus and Emma got tested for STIs and decided that they would be friends with benefits who only slept with each other but, you know, none of that stupid feelings crap. Good luck with that. Lena wanted to build a fortress and moat and hire Minerva McGonagall to protect their house and school before realizing that walls keep people out, too. Or something. Jude went to church, met a new guy, flipped out, and stomped around the house. So he was a teenager for a day, essentially Stef took back the car and mouthed off to Brandon a couple times. It was very satisfying. Mariana got a call from Nick that he wants to see her. Dude. You. Were. In. Her. House. With. A. Gun. You don’t get to ask her to visit.

Stef is snuggled into Lena’s shoulder. She asks Lena if she is texting her lover. Sure, just to say she can’t meet up since it’s their first wedding anniversary. This made me laugh out loud. The timeline on this show makes zero sense. Some kids have birthdays, others don’t, and only a year has passed since the end of Season 1A? Good one.

stef-lena-snugglescreencaps via 

Stef wants to know if they are still going to celebrate their first kiss anniversary. Damn skippy they are. Lena wants credit for the decade she put up with Stef’s shit. When my wife and I got married I was adamant that we still celebrate our anniversary—it just seemed wrong to start over counting since we’d been together for seven years. Mariana pipes up to tell them that they deserve to celebrate. Oh yeah, Mariana is sleeping in their bed since the whole boyfriend with a gun debacle. God, I hope my kids aren’t still sleeping in our bed when they are 16. The little one kicks.

Lena suggests getting a restraining order against Nick to help Mariana feel safe. Stef points out that he’s in a facility, his phone privileges were taken away, and getting a restraining order didn’t even keep Brandon from seeing Callie so basically it’s pointless. Lena would like to have her bed back, preferably by that night so she can maybe have some sex with her wife. So say we all.