“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (7.07): Don’t Fence Me In

Previously on Rizzoli & Isles: Jane and Maura ain’t afraid of no ghosts. Maura goes on a date with not-Jane. Jane gets jealous.

Man, don’t you hate wrong-way cyclists. I mean, I get it. Riding your bike is healthy and great for the environment and zippy and all that. But maybe don’t be a massive asshat. You still have to obey the rules of the road. You are still on a public roadway with other vehicles. And those that don’t? Well, I’m not saying you should all go boom. But, you know, let that be a lesson to you.


Maura is at Jane’s place in the morning. I see they’re switching it up a bit. Maybe Mama Rizzoli has been cramping their style a little. Hey, sometimes things get loud and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. Maura thanks Jane for signing for a package for her while she was helping perform a cesarean at Hope’s clinic. Jane says no problem, but secretly is worried the UPS man knows they’re a couple. Dude, everyone knows. EVERYONE KNOWS.

But, to quote Brad Pitt, now everyone just wants to know what’s in the box. Maura smiles that little smile she makes when she is about to make her girlfriend very happy. She says it’s a custom sabre guard so Jane can recognize her while attending her fencing tournaments.


OK, hold up, let’s let this sink in. Jane, who pretty much hates everything that isn’t baseball, hockey or shooting bad guys, apparently regularly attends Maura’s fencing tournaments. I mean, come on. Last week a mystery writer’s convention, this week fencing tournaments. Jane is so Maura’s puppy. Jane tries to play it off by making fun of Maura’s fencing tournaments–saying everyone looks like “giant tampons in face masks.” But we know, everyone knows.

Maura brushes off her deflection and reveals her purchase. It’s a very special custom sabre guard, emblazoned in the Boston Red Sox colors and emblem. Jane immediately gets weak in the knees and then they’re both very grateful they’re at Jane’s place instead of Maura’s where Mama R could walk in on untoward happenings on the kitchen counter.


They play flirt with some fencing moves and you just know Maura’s new hobby means they’re incorporating a bunch of new pirate role-playing into their bedroom routine.


Just as things are about to get super swashbuckly up in Jane’s kitchen, Frankie walks in and ruins everything. You’d think, after all these years, the Rizzolis would know to knock before entering a space with Jane and Maura. Jane is equally annoyed, letting out an exasperated, “Nooooo.”

You see, Jane is not only upset that Frankie interrupted their flirting; she is also upset that Frankie is there to take her away from Maura. Jane has been invited by the FBI to lecture trainees at Quantico. Maura, naturally, had to convince her to accept the invitation. The separation anxiety that woman has about her woman is truly remarkable.


As if to twist the knife further into Jane’s worst insecurities about their relationship, as she is leaving Maura and Frankie receive the case-starter caller of the week. They answer with what should be Jane and Maura’s trademark “Rizzoli” and “Isles.” Jane stares blankly at them and then says, “That just doesn’t sound right. That’s messed up.” Yes, yes it is.