“The Fosters” recap (4.5): Sharon for MVP

Previously on The Fosters, Mariana wanted to remove herself from the narrative but Nick was all, “I will kill myself if you don’t tell me you love me,” and really, Mariana just doesn’t have time for that kind of guilt so she lied and said “sure, totally your girlfriend still even though you brought a gun to school to stalk me and then camped out in my attic like some kind of Mike Montgomery.” Jude grew 12 inches taller, got pissed at Taylor for trying to help him make a new friend, and went out of town for a week to deal with his feelings (cementing the notion that he and Callie share plenty of DNA). The 47 parents of the Adams Foster brood banded together to get Gabe off the sex offender list, ostensibly to help Lena keep her job but really I think the showrunners have a thing for Gabe’s abs (this episode only confirms that fact) and wanted to keep him around. Stef and Lena celebrated their anniversary, did some snooping, and played good cop/bad cop (but not in a sexy way).

This week’s episode is all about Lena’s birthday. Of course, whenever the Adams Fosters throw a party it’s a disaster. This is somewhere just short of their most disastrous parties, but it isn’t smooth.

So let’s start with Brandon. Rent is coming due for him and Cortney (as it does every month when you’re a grown-up) and it seems, thanks to the five grand he’s spending to help Cortney with her divorce/custody fight, he needs some cash. He’s going to give piano lessons to the kids at Anchor Beach. Or at least he was until he finds a kid who wants an SAT tutor. Except, when this kid says “tutor,” he really means “kid to take the test for me.” Brandon balks for as long as it takes the kid to say “I’ll pay you a thousand bucks.” Oh, but Brandon, you’ve always made such good choices #sarcasm.

He takes the test for the kid and gets semi-caught when Jenna (Stef and Lena’s wildly inappropriate friend) sees him walking out. He gets all salty when Stef mentions to Dana that Cortney is using Brandon for his money because, goddammit he didn’t work at all for that money and he’s entitled to do whatever he wants with it.

Fosters 4051 Oh, I am so optimistic that this party will be drama free.

Fosters 4052Party episode? I’m gonna need a bigger glass.