“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (7.08): Jane’s Got Time

So now a tatted up Jane is in shackles and wearing orange on the way to the big house. And thus begins an epic Jane Rizzoli meets Alex Vause cross-over ship. I mean, she already has a safe word and everything. (Don’t worry, it’s different than her safe word with Maura. That’s “Xena.”)

After spending her first restless night behind bars, it is breakfast time. I half expect Red to serve her a tampon McMuffin. But instead, she runs into Christine freaking Cagney. Yep, it’s Sharon Gless of Cagney & Lacey fame. (Or, for the slightly younger set, Michael’s mom on Queer as Folk.) I can’t tell you the untold glee it gives me watching one of the original lady cop duo talk with one of today’s reigning lady cop duo.

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By the way, did you see both Cagney & Lacey reunite last night to sing at the Democratic National Convention? I mean, I think Hillary already had the lesbian vote on lock. But in case there were any holdouts, consider them secured now.

Cagney (please, like I’m going to call her anything else) suggests Jane get the biscuits in the mess line. But Jane has cranked her surliness up to 11 and declines. Then, when Cagney follows her to her table to make more friendly chatter, Jane threatens to kill her. Man, is Maura going to be mad at Jane when she tells her she had to yell at Cagney.

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Mama R comes to Maura’s office to find out about Jane. Everyone knows–if you want intel on Jane, go to Maura. Maura tries to reassure her that everything will be OK, that Jane can take care of herself. Poor thing, all this helping other people feel better means she probably has no time to process her own fears.

In the yard, Jane is keeping an eagle eye on Garbage Pail Girl. Sheesh, Jane, can you make it any more obvious? Also, the writers seem to have decided their best idea in this scenario is to have the frightened white woman being menaced by two black fellow inmates. Uh. Can we maybe not? It’s been a long, hard year for everyone. We’re better than this. This is especially true when those two inmates represent pretty much a tripling of your diversity quotient on this show.

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Jane gives one of the harassing inmates a hard shoulder pass and they get into a tiff. Scared Garbage Pail Girl thanks Jane, but Jane informs her she is only there for one more day so hurry it up. Someone is impatient to get back to Maura.

Later that night Jane is reading the newest bestseller by “Bess Herritsen” (we see what you did there, don’t worry) when Garbage Pail Girl gets pulled into the bathroom by one of her harassers. Jane gets up to investigate, but stopped at the entrance. So they slug it out. First with one, then the other. I gotta say, Jane throws a pretty mean kidney punch. Ouch.

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Jane calls Maura afterward. Gotta tell the bae you’re okay. But she has to talk in code because of the whole being undercover in prison and all. Actually, they could have avoided this subterfuge by just making kissy noises at each other throughout their entire allotted time.