Rachel Watch: A Pentagon Sham, the Bailout Scam and Lonely Spam

Today: Naomi Klein, Ana Marie Cox, and a whole lotta lying

Age of Diplobamacy

Rachel decided to go ahead and take us straight to the Pit of Despair by reporting on Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama’s meeting with the Presidents of Afghanistan and Pakistan.

You know, it’s funny — they say they don’t get along, but they have so much in common: Rampant corruption that has undermined public faith in its unstable governments, spreading fundamentalism, and secret fondnesses for long walks on the beach and old Carpenters albums.

Rajiv Chandrasekaran of The Washington Post joined Rachel to make you wish we were hurtling straight into a black hole instead because the odds of getting out are higher.

One more thing:

The one pig in Afghanistan’s zoo is in solitary confinement – or rather even-more-solitary confinement – due to swine flu fears.

The pig is said to be passing the time by whittling, prank calling the ostriches, and reading Animal Farm.

Maine-taining Equality

Maine has legalized gay marriage. This makes it the fifth state in which one can legally marry someone of the same sex, and the only state in which one can marry someone of the same sex and say “Ayuh,” instead of “I do.”

Some Dissembly Required

Remember how earlier we were talking about government corruption undermining the faith of the public?

David Barstow of the New York Times reported on the Pentagon’s military analyst program, which set up retired officers to appear on talk shows as secret PR reps.

Former Bush administration officials promptly launched themselves into a frenzy of defensiveness and – sit down before you read this next bit – lying. Take a moment if you need to fan yourself or splash cold water on your face.

They also cited in their defense a Pentagon Inspector General’s report that was – please, have a friend ready with some smelling salts – stuffed so full of baloney that you could toss it into the Afghan pig’s cage to keep him company.

Frank Rich, author of The Greatest Story Ever Sold, joined Rachel to wonder exactly how many times we have to expose instances of the Bush administration making up fake

reasons to have a real war with real deaths before someone actually experiences a real consequence.

In a related story, Donald Rumsfeld’s most recent physical indicates that he is still separated from his hindquarters due to prolonged guffawing.

Ms. Information

This March, Lieutenant Daniel Choi, an Iraq War veteran and West Point graduate, said he was gay on The Rachel Maddow Show. He is now being dismissed from the Army National Guard for “moral or professional dereliction.”

He did not kiss a guy on the air, he did not get gay married on the air, and he did not do the broadcast from Show Tune Night at Sidetrack. He just said he was gay out loud and in public.

Choi will be in the studio with Rachel Thursday night.

Yes We Cantor

Rolling Stone reported that a McCain insider claims that Congressman Eric Cantor (R – Virginia) was never really on the Vice Presidential shortlist, and that the shortlist story originated with a source whose initials are E. C.

Meanwhile, Cantor was saying that the National Council for a New America was about actually listening to people and trying to figure out what they want instead of screaming the same old slogans that have alienated 79% of the country.

But then Rush yanked his leash.

Air America Radio correspondent and Maddow pal Ana Marie Cox dropped in to give an interesting Washington insider’s perspective on why lying is OK as long as you go big. She and Rachel also tried to figure out why Republicans are so scared of a guy who demonstrably cannot deliver elections.

Seriously: Did Limbaugh take pictures at a Republican slumber party or what?

GOP in Exile

Rachel reported that 12% of Republicans think their states would be better off as independent nations, and 26% are not sure.

Looks like some Republicans like to play the Judd Gregg game: They hate anti-Americanism but love secession.

Little Shock of Horrors

Rachel welcomed Naomi Klein, who pointed out in The Shock Doctrine that horrible disasters open the door to massive, opportunistic social re-engineering, such as the shift of public housing land into the hands of private developers after Hurricane Katrina.

Klein thinks that a big financial disaster could open us up to a similar kind of exploitation. Uh-oh.

If you like smart women, great conversation, and having the bejesus scared out of you, this is your segment.