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Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (February 16, 2007)

WHAT WOULD MRS. DANVERS SAY?

BBC2 just started production on Daphne, a new 90-minute drama about a tumultuous period in the life of famous British author Daphne du Maurier, who wrote Rebecca and The Birds. The film is based on Margaret Forster’s 1993 authorized biography, and charts the married Du Maurier’s love for Ellen Doubleday (the wife of the American publishing tycoon), and later, the actress Gertrude Lawrence.

The movie boasts a great cast, including Geraldine Somerville (Gosford Park, the Harry Potter movies) as Du Maurier and Elizabeth McGovern (Once Upon a Time in America) and Janet McTeer (Songcatcher) as Ellen and Gertrude, respectively. But if you’re expecting another Tipping the Velvet, you’ll be disappointed. The lesbian love scenes will be “more reminiscent of Noel Coward’s Brief Encounter than Sarah Waters’s more graphic Fingersmith.” In American terms, that means more like South of Nowhere than The L Word when it comes to physical affection.

And while I don’t want to spoil the plot (those who want to be spoiled should read here), there’s not exactly a happy lesbian ending. But then, heartache is the universal language of lesbians, right?

NO, IT’S NOT ABOUT A PACK OF LESBIANS. DAMNIT.

There’s another potential fall series with a series regular lesbian character in it: Traveling in Packs, a half-hour comedy for ABC about three women in their thirties who live together. The lesbian character, Mary, is a therapist, and her own therapist happens to be her old college boyfriend, whom she says she never enjoyed sleeping with except “maybe that one time after we saw Being John Malkovich and I started thinking about Catherine Keener.”

If I had a nickel for every woman who’s said that to a man…

BETTE’S TOO SEXY FOR HER SHIRT. SO SEXY IT HURTS.

Jennifer Beals and Marlee Matlin did a very cute joint interview about what it was like working together and playing lovers on The L Word since they’ve been friends for so long. According to Matlin, “We met originally at the airport on the way to Los Angeles. I remember saying to [my interpreter] Jack, ‘I think that’s Jennifer Beals.’ She had a leather coat on and she looked very sort of Flashdance. (Laughs) Sorry Jennifer, I had to put that in. But she looked very smart because she had all her school books from Yale with her.”

It’s kinda like when I chatted with Pierce Brosnan at the Kauai airport a few years ago while waiting for our luggage at the same carousel. Except one of us isn’t deaf, and we didn’t become lifelong friends, or play lovers on TV. But he did look smart in his bermuda shorts and Hawaiian shirt.

Back to The L Word (how great was last week’s episode, BTW?), and Jennifer Beals–those of you who have been clamoring for more sex on the show will be thrilled with the next episode (4.7 “Lesson Number One”), which opens with one couple in bed, ends with another couple knockin’ docks on the kitchen table, and has a game of strip poker in the middle.

Plus, Bette walks around for several minutes in pajama bottoms and a white tank top showing off her arms, which is sure to make Scribe Grrrl swoon.

HOW DO YOU SAY GIGLI IN ITALIAN? OH WAIT…

Wolfe Video has just picked up the distribution rights to Riparo, a movie debuting at the Berlin Film Festival last week that is described as “the dramatic story of a lesbian couple in Italy who take in a Moroccan teen; a decision that turns all three lives upside down.”

Sounds somewhat interesting, right? Until you read co-star Maria de Mederios’s version of the story:

“I play Anna, a businesswoman from northern Italy who is in a relationship with a woman. After coming back from a vacation in Tunisia, they discover that, unbeknownst to them, a young, illegal immigrant snuck into the trailer of their car and arrives in Italy almost dead. Anna sees this boy as a son from the very beginning. Her companion, on the other hand, sees him first as rival then as an object of desire.”

Oh goodie, another movie about a woman in a lesbian relationship who falls for a man! So here’s a question: would you ever see the same plot with a gay male couple and a stow-away teenage girl? Sure, there’s probably at least one movie out there about that. But there aren’t tens of hundreds.

On the other hand, cute women speaking Italian might make up for the annoying premise…but probably not.

“INTEGRITY” = HOMOPHOBIA?

Danso Gordon, who plays Clay on South of Nowhere, is leaving the show because he doesn’t approve of Spashley.

Officially, he’s only saying (via a post on a MySpace SON fan page) that he’s leaving because “the show went against my personal Faith and integrity”:

“I am leaving for my own personal reasons that have to do with my Faith and personal integrity. It was a difficult decision to make, however, when someone is involved in something that directly opposes his/her integrity, then that person has to ask themselves why they are doing it. For the money? To make sure they dont offend people? I asked myself these questions and I obviously came to my answer…the show went against my personal Faith and integrity and therefore I made the difficult decision to leave.”

Neither Gordon’s management or The N would confirm that he is leaving the show, or comment on his MySpace statement, but The N’s editorial director recently (accidentally?) revealed at a youth roundtable that an unnamed actor on the show felt that the positive portrayal of coming out–and the decidedly less positive picture painted by a conservative Christian mom who tries de-gay her dykey daughter–was “morally wrong,” and asked to leave the show.

Coincidence? Yeah, I don’t think so.

With all this negativity, now would be a great time for us to remind The N just how much we value the lesbian storyline on South of Nowhere, perhaps by posting a message to that effect on The N’s SON message board. Otherwise, we may find Season 3 is all about shirtless Aiden.

ENOUGH WITH THE TALKING ABOUT IT, JUST KISS ALREADY!

Courteney Cox talks extensively to Access Hollywood about Jennifer Aniston’s upcoming appearance on Dirt, and why they decided to have her character be a lesbian. The bad news? Their much-publicized kiss is just a quick peck (“If you think it is just about a major make-out session, you will be disappointed”). The good news? Unlike Cox’s reviled character Lucy, Aniston’s character is well liked, which counts for…well, not much on that show, since pretty much just watching it makes you feel sleazy.

SHE SAID WHAT?

Comedian Judy Gold guests on this week’s episode:

Next week, Gray Matters director Sue Kramer talks about the movie, and Bridget Moynahan and Heather Graham argue over whether Cynthia Nixon’s gay (clearly they don’t read AfterEllen.com).

Yes, that’s right, we interviewed Sue, Heather and Bridget (and the very funny Tom Cavanagh) for She Said What?, and I don’t want to spoil it for you, but if you’ve always wanted to know whether Coyote Ugly alum Bridget gets hit on more by women when she’s a redhead or a brunette, then this is the episode you’ve been waiting for!

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

The Australian version of the reality series The Biggest Loser has a lesbian contestant: P’eta, who is “happily living in a long-term relationship.”

If the pregnant woman Alex rescued from the ferryboat disaster on Grey’s Anatomy looks familiar, it’s because she’s played by Elizabeth Reaser, who plays the leading lesbian in Puccini for Beginners. Alas, no same sex affairs for Reaser on Grey’s, though.

Coming up on AfterEllen.com next week: ER‘s Laura Innes tells us which of Kerry Weaver’s girlfriends she liked better, Sandy or Kim, and The L Word‘s Rose Rollins (Tasha) tells us why “I’m really not good at playing the sexy girl.” Yeah, whatever.

That’s it for this week! Check back next Friday for a new edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

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