Super Bowl ads have a problem with the ladies

Apparently, men don’t like their wives. Or their girlfriends. Or even possibly their children. At least, that’s what I learned last night while watching the Super Bowl — or, as it was called in my house, the Misogyny Bowl.

Considered advertising’s biggest night, the event is seen as a showcase for the newest and most creative new marketing campaigns. Instead it was a barrage of ads that made men feel like less than men for doing things like getting married, listening to their wives and shopping with their girlfriends. Gosh, and just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Think I’m just being an overly sensitive, feminist, bleeding-heart, queer liberal? Well, yes, I am. But I’m not exaggerating on the unmistakably women unfriendly tone of last night’s ads. Take this Dodge Charger commercial. Apparently, big dumb cars are now men’s reward for caring about their partners’ opinions and acting like a grown up.

Being a decent human being is hard, isn’t it fellas? But at least that wife was worth a whole car. This poor woman is only worth a set of tires.

Oh, I see what you did there, a play on the old “Take my wife, please!” joke. That sound you hear is 155 million American women not being amused. Even the ads without an overtly hateful message toward women had an insidious commentary on manliness. Dude, real men use man soap.

Also, I saw enough pantless men to last me a lifetime. There were two ads featuring guys in tightie-whities in a row. Hey, don’t you know people at home are trying to enjoy their nachos? Put on some damn pants!

We’ve grown accustomed to the easy sexism of Super Bowl ads. Hot chicks in skimpy clothing is just part for the course. It’s made the Girls Gone Wild of web hosting. (p.s. Dania Patrick, you’re better than this.) But this new level of vitriol against women for supposedly emasculating men is an entirely unwelcome twist. In fact, the only ad that actually made falling in love and getting married seem like a good thing was this simple, sweet spot by Google.

But at least there was one proud gay couple amid all the unhappily married heteros. No, it wasn’t in the commercial where Megan Fox was so hot she turned gay men straight. It was that Budweiser Clydesdale ad. I hope those two crazy kids make it.

Hey, advertisers, girls watch football. And they watch the ads that play during football games. And there is no way we’re going to buy your cars/tires/man soap/tiny TVs after seeing that kind of display. In fact, it makes me want to go and Google “companies that don’t hate women.”

So, what did you think? Were you insulted by the ads? Impressed by any of them?