“The Real World: Washington, D.C.”: Baby, bi, bi, bi

Last week on The Real World, insects invade the house, Mike comes to terms with his sexuality but no one else does, and civil war breaks out as Erika and Ashley go at it.

The episode opens with an army of ants marching into the house via a window sill searching for the pizza Andrew and some of the other messier roommates tossed around the house. Flies have also begun to make the house a home. Erika cleans the house before the show was transferred from MTV to Animal Planet.

Meanwhile, Mike and Eric go on a date. Mike tells Eric that he came out as bi to his parents a year ago. Eric is skeptical that Mike is bi — he thinks Mike is gay.

In fact, the entire house thinks that Mike is gay, except Emily, who is also bi. Emily comes to his defense, saying, “Even if he is a little bit attracted to girls, that still means [he is bi], because that’s the same way I am. I’m not saying I will end up with a guy, although my friends say I will.” Ashley’s response is, “It’s just confusing.” Erika jumps in saying that she wouldn’t look at Mike or Emily differently if either of them came out as gay. While it is clear that no one in the house is a homophobe, no one can wrap their heads around the concept of bisexuality either. What part of “bi” do these people not understand?

Later, Mike is on the phone with Eric, and he asks Eric if he would be ok with him making out with a girl. “Very funny,” responds Eric, who then asks Mike if he would be OK with him playfully making out with a guy. Mike tells Eric that he would be ok with him playfully making out with a girl but not with a guy, because if he were to make out with a guy, it should be him. He then adds that it wouldn’t mean anything if he were to make out with a girl randomly in a bar, because he would never see her again. Eric changes the subject, because it is making him uncomfortable.

Mike and Eric go to a club, and Mike flirts with a couple of girls. This causes some tension, and later on Mike and Eric sort of break up, but by the end of the episode, they sort of get back together because they more than just sort of like each other.

The bulk of the episode examines the conflict between Erika and Ashley, and it is about as interesting as watching two children throw tantrums, so I won’t get into it. Imagine two narcissistic six year olds going to a birthday party and discovering that they are both wearing the same dress. Suddenly, neither is so special, except in this case, the dress is depression. Fighting about depression is just so depressing.

Fortunately, they put a cork in it by the end of the episode.