“Skins” Retro Recap (3.04): “Pandora”

Thanks for being patient for Pandora’s recap! If you haven’t already read Rophy Does Panda, what are you waiting for? Free LOLs are waiting!

As always, there are series four spoilers in this recap’s business.

"Pandora" is the first episode of Skins I ever watched, and that almost didn’t happen because some Naomily shippers jumped me one time, early on, and ripped me a new one because I left Naomi and Emily off a list or something. I don’t remember. But they were just vicious in a way I still don’t understand even though my affection for Naomi and Emily knows no boundaries or end now. Like light.

So anyway, I got the flu and was stuck in bed and the words of the sweet and tender Naomily shippers broke through my fever: "No matter how you bend the space-time continuum, Naomi and Emily are the best lesbian couple on every tesseract."

The general consensus was that I should start on episode four and take it from there, and I didn’t know anything at all about the lesbian couple, even what they looked like. So when we open on Panda snuggled up to Effy’s feet, I thought it was them. I spent the first ten minutes of the episode thinking it was them, which weirds me out so hard now, and doesn’t even make sense because of how Panda is going bonkers about Thomas.

I think it’s creepy now, though, just like I did then, that Anthea is watching them sleep.

Panda is making out with Thomo’s charm necklace and whispering, "Please come back. Please come back." And when Anthea is sufficiently weirded out, she announces her presence with tea. (But what if Panda and Effy really had been a couple? Knock first, Anthea!) (Also, can you even imagine Jenna Fitch watching Naomi and Emily sleep in the same bed? Her head would twist round-and-round like the Exorcist as she plotted the most brutally inefficient way to axe murder Naomi. "It was a six-seater table!")

Stray observations: 1) Lisa Backwell is so pretty. I think these may be her prettiest Skins moments, with the camera all hugged up to her face in the the morning light. It probably helps that I can’t see the horrific hodgepodge of patterns and colors Panda is undoubtedly wearing under the covers. 2) Effy’s bed is the Hopen from IKEA. 3) The art over her bed is one of those great Skins design touches: A stolen Daily Express sign that has been modified to say "Daily Sex."

Panda gives Anthea spelling, geography and physics lessons, explaining that love is a four-letter word that she applies to her relationship with Thomas, who lives in the Congo (a democratic republic on the equator, bordering Gabon and Cameroon) which makes it sort of impossible for him to get a train back to Britsol. Anthea is really only interested in having a conversation riddled with double meaning about the affair she’s having and the brilliant things that accompany said affair. She tells Panda to wake up Sleeping Beauty, and so Panda pounces her because Panda is the cuddliest kind of puppy.