Bisexual trainer Fernanda Rocha to sculpt, tone and firm “The Real Housewives of O.C.”

Bravo’s reality shows are a dime-a-dozen rip-off of other popular shows, in addition to the gay-ish projects like Jackie Warner’s Thintervention, and Tabatha’s Salon Takeover. I really couldn’t care less about what happens on that channel anymore. I do, however, think you’ll care about the latest gossip on The Real Housewives of Orange County: not to be outshined by Hotlanta or New Jersey, the women of O.C. are adding a queer lady to their mix, too.

Enter Fernanda Rocha, the bisexual trainer whose “Brazilian Booty” obvi stole the show in past episodes from the bleached, botoxed, and bronzed regulars. According to a Real Housewives “insider,” in the upcoming season, Ms. Rocha (who is open about her sexuality) will be back to “stir up the pot” — whatever that means — and bring on the controversy, though it’s not like there’s ever a dearth of that.

Take this with a shaker of salt, but Rocha’s credentials appear to resemble that of an actual bisexual woman, since she was married to a man, and recently in a relationship with a woman. Again with the salt, because this is Bravo reality TV, after all.

Here’s a clip from Rocha’s latest fitness DVD, Fernanda’s Brazilian Booty Workout :


Adding to her hypothetical coolness is that she and O.C. housewife Tamra Barney posed topless for NoH8. (I know, I could do without the meatheads, too.)

Not very original, though, because Atlanta housewife Kim Zolciak, who first confirmed and then later denied her involvement with lesbian DJ Tracy Young, also posed for NoH8 topless. Not that I’m complaining, but if this is a publicity stunt, she might as well be original.

And let’s not forget about the real ex-communicated housewife of New Jersey, Danielle Staub, who was H.U.-ing with Lori Michaels after they dueted together. I really don’t blame you if you don’t know who any of these people are or what I’m talking about. No offense taken.

Perhaps we’ll get an accurate, honest portrayal of a bisexual woman on a reality show and we’ll be donezo with all these publicity-hungry housewives. I almost believed that.

So what do you think? Will Rocha be portrayed well or will all dolphins turn into gay sharks before that happens?