“Thintervention” recap 1.5: Making lesbian lemonade

Last night’s episode of Thintervention went just like all of the other episodes. Seriously, the casting directors picked some of the laziest S.O.B.s to walk the earth and get filmed while doing so.

Now, maybe it’s just me, but I’d like to think being filmed for a television show and being trained by a super-human would force me to work harder than I’ve ever worked before. For some of these people it seems as though it’s having the opposite effect.

Two of our brightest stars, Bryan and Joe, have changed their relationship with food and have continued working hard. Joe is seeing results and making me want to throw up as he drinks two egg yolks whole.

Stacy tells us how frustrated she is with the program. She didn’t lose any weight last week and says she couldn’t have done any better with her eating or exercising than she already has. She also says someone, and it’s not her, is a jackass. Don’t keep us in suspense Stacy, who is it? Jackie Warner, of course! She says that even though Jackie is a jackass, she really loves her milkshake.

Jackie tells Craig she knows those bitches are lying about what they’re eating. The meals they report to her are small salads with some green beans and that’s it. I’m starving just thinking about it and it seems like they could be screwing themselves up by not eating enough.

Since Joe and Shay are still on the injured list, Jackie has chosen to modify the group’s workout so as to prove to these slackers they can continue working out even when certain parts of their body are screaming for them to stop.

They will be focusing on their arms because all of them want to have Jackie’s arms (including me). Cut to shots of Jackie flashing her arm muscles and then immediately cut to Mandy’s face in a half-smile/half-drool. I swear, every time Jackie does something remotely sexy, they cut to a shot of Mandy smiling.

Jackie Wisdom: Whether she’s training someone for a red carpet event or only has ten days to get someone smaller – she focuses on the shoulders because the more they can get “that V,” (I’m positive she’s not referring to the “V” I’m thinking about) the smaller they’ll appear.