“Grey’s Anatomy” minicap: “Superfreak”

It’s Girly Gossip Time!, starring Teddy, April and Meredith. While operating on their virgin patient, the ladies are discussing sex and virginity. I hope that if I ever have surgery, my doctors only discuss my medical condition and their love of golf that during my operation. Teddy is searching for a mass inside the patient and instead she finds a condom lodged in the patient’s lung. Come on, it happens. Well, not usually to virgins, but it happens!

Meredith and her posse of doctors are walking down the hallway discussing the virgin patient. Meredith says she feels bad that her fiancé still thinks she’s virgin.

April speaks up and says, “She can still be a virgin just because she’s 27; I mean it’s not impossible.” Oh no, April. Are you implying that you’re a virgin? I’m not really surprised though; she’s too annoying to have sex with. 

Owen talks to Derek about Cristina sleeping in his bed. Derek clarify that yes, Cristina was sleeping in bed with Derek and Meredith, but really Cristina was just technically sleeping with Meredith. How does that help?

Then Derek compares Meredith and Cristina’s relationship to the movie E.T. Cristina is E.T. and Meredith is Elliot, E.T.’s little boy friend.

Can I be Drew Barrymore

Derek says that he and Owen are the government officials in the white Hazmat suits, but E.T. and Elliot have a connection that they’ll never understand. Do you think Meredith knows that her husband thinks her best friend is an extraterrestrial?

The doctors are all standing around talking about the first time they had sex. Aren’t there any sick patients in this hospital? Alex and Meredith both lost their virginity in high school, Cristina had sex for the first time in college and Dr. Jackson McBlueEyes said his first time having sex was with two women. Yeah, join the club buddy! April refuses to discuss her sex life. Thank you, April. 

Then Alex pipes in and says to April, “Ha, you’re a virgin.” April freaks out and insists that she has had sex before, which is obviously a lie. Meredith tells the gang to stop picking on April.

Once again Derek and McSibling are arguing about their patient, but it’s all subtext for their relationship and their father’s unfortunate death. McBeardy should definitely stay on and counsel these two. 

April tells the virgin patient about the condom they found in her lung. The patient’s fiancé yells at her and walks off. What a hypocrite! He’s had sex before. But why didn’t April ask the fiancé to leave and tell the patient about the condom in private? 

Derek, McSibling and Cristina are operating on their brain tumor patient. Something goes wrong in surgery and Derek instructs Cristina to “pack the patient.” I’m not sure what that means, but Cristina has an anxiety attack and tells Derek that she can’t do it. Maybe Cristina doesn’t know what “packing the patient,” means either. McSibling steps in and packs the patient and Cristina huddles against the wall.