“Grey’s Anatomy” minicap: “Superfreak”

The Chief and Alex are still riding up and down in the elevator. Who knows how much time has passed, but wouldn’t it be awesome if the elevator got stuck?

McSteamy fills out Jerry the TreeMan’s medical paperwork and sees Tess kiss her husband on the cheek for the first time in four years. It mustn’t have been a very good kiss, because Tess grabs her coat and walks out on him. 

The gang is gathered at the local bar getting drunk. Meredith, Alex and Jackson McBlueEyes are still teasing April about being a virgin and Lexi sits down and joins in on the fun.

April has had enough and says, “I’m a virgin, so what?” Then she reveals everything that wrong with all of them. McBlueEyes has nightmares (I didn’t know they lived together?), Alex is afraid of the elevator, Meredith is scared that Cristina is permanently screwed up and Lexi doesn’t realize that McSteamy is in love with her. 

April, “I am a 28-year old virgin. I’m pretty sure that guys find me annoying.” And so do I!  April takes a shot of alcohol and Meredith says, “Oh April, I’m liking you more and more”

Back at Kappa Kappa Calzona, Owen walks through the front door and Cristina is sitting on the couch in her pajamas. Aww, she looks really cute! They cuddle up on the couch together and Arizona and Callie bust in the front door, passionately making out and ripping off their clothes. I know I’m supposed to be counting how long they are on screen together but they are getting naked, so I lost my focus. Let’s just say 10 seconds, shall we? Calzona throw their clothes at Owen and Cristina and exit into their bedroom.

Cristina turns to Owen and says, “We have to get our own place.”

Back at Seattle Grace, Lexi shows up at the hospital to confront McSteamy and see if he’s still in love with her but instead Lexi sees him making out with McSibling. If anyone should have HPV and be covered in tree warts, it should be McSteamy.

In summation, Calzona got a total of 2 minutes and 54 seconds of screen time (I knew it was going to be less than three minutes!), April is a virgin and will probably end up losing her virginity to one of the dumb male doctors in the next few episodes (my guess is McBlueEyes), the McSteamy and Lexi saga will probably continue until this season finale and I’m going to go re-watch the Calzona make out scene right now!