Great LezBritain: “Lip Service” Recap — Episode One

Frankie turns up at Cat’s meeting place. Along the way, Cat has put more eyeliner on and it looks wicked.  She should wear it like that for the date with the cop.

Cat is aghast that Frankie is here and Frankie asks her if she’s still losing things as she hands over the purse. She says this in a really over-familiar manner that isn’t appropriate towards a person whose heart you broke. Frankie is the kind of girl that you would really hate yourself for constantly imagining what she’d be like in bed.

Sarah: Oh is that right?
Lee: Well of course I wouldn’t, but other, single ones, they’d be thinking it …

Frankie tells Cat a guy in the corner keeps staring at her and Cat says he’s a pain.

Frankie: Can’t blame him, you do look incredibly hot.

There she goes again. In-app-ropriate. Frankie is a major line crosser, a boundary hopper in fact, we will have to watch her wily ways.

Cat: Is that why you left me because I look so hot?  Why are you here — in fact I don’t even care. 

Cat goes home to get ready for her date and she is looking hot to trot while Tess is eating beans from a bowl in her pyjamas.

Cat: Are the heels and shoes too much?
Tess:  If she was after some diesel dyke, she would have hardly gone for you.

No she wouldn’t, she really wouldn’t.

Tess sends her on her way but Cat’s expression suggests that this date could be a bit of a disaster.

In the bar, Cat orders a vat of Vino and makes a meal out of reapplying her lipstick while she waits for Sam to make an appearance.  Oh Cat, chill the f–k out.

Over at Rubies, the fictitious gay bar, there are ladies playing pool and swigging beer. Ed, Tess, Frankie and Jay are there having a toast to Frankie’s return, while Jay talks about a possible “lezurrection” between Frankie and Cat. Ha ha, Lezurrection, good one Jay.

Since Chloe was last seen between another girls thighs, Tess has decided to get herself out there and get laid. Frankie’s advice is to look “aloof and uninterested” and they’ll no doubt be clambering for some Tess action — an art we feel takes some mastering, because you may just as easily look like an idiot.

Jay’s other half Becky arrives, she seems like a right good one; not judging Jay’s flirty ways, offering to buy drinks – what a winner.

Cat calls Tess because Sam the cop has yet to make an appearance, but just as she speaks Sam can be seen entering the bar.

Cat: Call me in half an hour and if she’s a moose I’ll make my excuses and leave.

Sam is next to Cat when these words are uttered and this is clearly not the best start to the date.

Sarah: Heather told me that she wasn’t allowed to wear make-up in this scene because she’s supposed to look quite butch.
Lee: She looks good with no make-up on. Not that butch though.
Sarah: She’s what one would call, “TV butch.”

Becky tells Frankie about Cat’s blind date and Frankie is clearly ruffled and goes for a fag.  Hmm, actually Becky, maybe back off? You’ve only been here two minutes, you’ve just met Frankie for the first time and you’re already splurging out information. The others agree with us but Becky is unrepentant and we find out that Frankie and Cat had grown up together, were best friends and then Frankie persuaded Cat to leave her girlfriend for her, only to then run off to New York when it got serious.

So now we are rooting for Cat and her date, but Cat is asking Sam about being in the police and then tells a pretty boring story about how a lovely policeman was once very caring over her purse being stolen. She then blurts out all sorts of things you shouldn’t say on a first date — textbook no-no’s really.

If this girl was wound any tighter her eyes would pop out.